Columns

Sugared Woodchuck with Gangsta Pudding, Anyone?

The restaurant world can almost be boiled down to two basic kinds of restaurants -- restaurants that serve simple dishes and restaurants that have menus that read more Cirque du Soleil than food.

Consider Miami's own Barton G. restaurant. Dishes include cheeky monkey mahi, lobster pop tarts and coconut-crusted voodoo shrimp (served over a smoking devil's brew). These dishes are designed to intrigue with their names and taste combinations, but no one's ever going to accuse this restaurant of being too restrained.

With more and more people turning to food for entertainment, Short Order

wondered if there was any limit to frou frou dining in the land of more is more? What's next? Coddled newt with creamy polenta? Stir-fried fox with cotton candy breading? Yes! ... and no.


The Frou Frou Restaurant Menu Generator randomly chooses a menu of exotic delights for you to savor with your imagination. When we took the generator for a spin, we were given the following menu to consider:

  • Sugared Elk with Brussel Sprout Vinaigrette
  • Pan-Fried Prarie Dog with Gin Paste
  • Seared Boar with Brazen Dressing
  • Sugared Woodchuck with Gangsta Pudding
  • Fried Lion with Lima Bean Dressing

The

generator is fun for a few tries, but we're not sure Miami's ready for

fried lion. Plus, we have no freaking clue what gangsta pudding is. For

now, we'll stick to the lobster pop-tarts.

Follow Short Order on Facebook and Twitter @Short_Order.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times. She has been featured on Cooking Channel's Eat Street and Food Network's Great Food Truck Race. She won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature about what it's like to wait tables.
Contact: Laine Doss