We pretty much have to be drunk to find ourselves eating hydrogenated oil and FD&C Blue #1-infused grub at fast food chains like Sonic or Burger King. But maybe that's the strategy some greasy food peddlers are banking on: that lots of people are down to order triple-fried fries and Slurpees the size of small children if they can get a side of beer with that.
And South Florida is leading the nation as a guinea pig for burger chains adding alcohol to their menus. Following in the footsteps of Whopper Bar, a South Beach Burger King that offers beers and a slightly "fancier" menu, Sonic announced recently that it will be peddling booze at two restaurants in Miami and Fort Lauderdale. The updated Sonics will sell three beers on draft, 25 types of bottled beer, and ten wines.
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Granted, cheap libations at fast food spots aren't new -- we're thinking Chipotle, Lime, and their ilk -- but those places don't feature drive-through windows and children's play areas. Personally, we don't know anyone who eats at Sonic (mostly because the chain is fairly new to these parts). But if we did, we'd imagine them ordering via window from a giant SUV because, well, that's exactly what happens in every single one of those incredibly annoying commercials featuring massive sundaes and cheese-covered hot dogs. The company's motto is "America's Drive-In" so don't blame us for immediately thinking cars + super-size cups + alcohol = disaster.
But, also like Whopper Bar, Sonic updated its look and M.O. at its location in Homestead to address those concerns. Called Sonic Beach, the restaurant at 2425 NE Eighth St. features an outdoor, sand-covered patio with flat-screen TVs, and alcohol will be served in only that area. The sandy, beer-guzzler part will close at 1 a.m. every day, while the drive-in remains open 24 hours.
If priced low like the food, alcohol served at a Sonic could result in a new hangout spot in an area with fewer bars and clubs than other parts of Miami. So whatever, that's cool. But we're hoping this marks the end of this irritating fad. If McDonald's opens a "concept" restaurant with a trendy name, shitty burgers, and supermarket wine in Kendall, we're a) throwing up in our mouths and b) so moving to San Francisco.