Listen, we have a problem. As we milled around the beachside tents of Moët Hennessy's The Q last night, we noticed salt and pepper shakers on each of the tables.
Yeah, salt and pepper shakers. You know, like the kind people put in the middle of a family dinner table in case mom's casserole is lacking in flavor. Shakers at an event that people pay up to $400 (one more time now: $400!) to drink champagne and eat the best meat dishes from celebrity chefs and restaurants around the country.
As members of the press, we don't pay for our tickets, but we pretend like we do. Because, like you, we'd be pissed off that additional salt and pepper would even be a thought for what is supposedly "the best."
The best don't need no doctoring up, OK? And that $400 price tag don't need it either.
The point is that people pay top dollar for these kinds of events, and perfection is to be expected. Ladies, it's like buying a pair of Louboutins and then being told by the sales associate that you can make them more beautiful with an extra adornment. What the fuck? They're Louboutins. They should be perfect as they are. Guys, imagine you buy your dream car. It's everything you want, with a price tag to prove it -- but the dealer says it'll run better for you if you maintenance it daily. COME ON.
It's understood that a solid portion of $400 for VIP tickets, and $300 for GA tickets cover the cost of the endless alcohol. It's understood that not everything can be perfect all the time. We get that. It's also understood that people have different taste. But, generally, a good chef would know how to season his or her food. Right? That's expected.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
The Q didn't have to admit to a potential lack of flavor by placing condiments on every table. They didn't have to make people question those idolized chefs' judgment. That's what consumers buy, anyway -- television chefs' amazing taste, skill, and opinions on food.
In any case, we willfully tasted each station at The Q. Trust, the task is harder than it sounds. As it turned out, yeah, some dishes needed salt (bummer). But some didn't. Some were perfectly seasoned and spiced and everything that we theoretically paid for.
Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.