Poisonous Plants = Narcotics. But Be Careful!

Miami is a dangerous landscape of poisonous fauna. Some of us know that "poisonous" translates to "trippy". So, when you read about people dying from eating poisonous mushrooms, flowers, plants, and so on, it simply means that they were amateurs. May they rest in peace.

Poisonous mushrooms (some of you may be more familiar with the term psilocybin mushrooms or shrooms), and poisonous flowers, such as the angel's trumpet, are simply organic hallucinogens. And in the quantity of "poisonous" plants, we're #1!

"I'm certain we're No. 1 in the nation," Roger Hammer, an author and "naturalist" told the Sun-Sentinel. "We get all the rainfall, we get all the sunshine, and we can grow truly tropical plants in South Florida. And there are definitely more tropical plants that are poisonous." Sweet.

These plants when used improperly, can stop your heart or put you on a ventilator, irritate skin, damage eyes, slow the pulse, initiate seizures, and cause organ failure, if you don't know what you're doing. In fact, 616 cases of plant poisonings were reported in SoFla last year. Who are these people you ask? Mostly children under 6 and teenagers trying to get high.

The most commonly ingested of these plants in Miami is probably the angel's trumpet, used by scored of Miami high schoolers to, in laymen's terms, "trip balls." Used for its similar results to LSD and the fact that almost every abuelita has them growing outside the house, campanitas are #1 in our book. In fact, we think abuela is way overdue for a visit.

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