Phony Nutritionists Make Their Push

USDA Food, Nutrition, and Consumer Services Deputy Under Secretary Janey Thornton traveled to Kissimmee last week to highlight the Obama administration's priorities for improving school meals and the health of children across the nation. Thornton claimed the administration was committed to "rapid passage of a strong reauthorization bill." 
Bullshit. The agri-crooks responsible for our children's poor health are helping write the bill.

In related news, shocking new findings from a recently released scientific study showed that eating KIND snack bars are great and won't cause weight gain. "We are pleased with the findings from Dr. Katz's study, as it supports the fact that KIND bars are a nutritionally beneficial part of a healthy and balanced lifestyle," explained Daniel Lubetzky, founder and CEO of KIND Healthy Snacks.
And, yes, the study was funded by KIND, LLC.

Having holistic nutritionists offer recipes isn't going to help anyone get healthy either.

"Certified natural chef" Patty James has a new cookbook called More Vegetables, Please! Easy Ways to Add More Veggies to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. Here is a sample of just a couple of absolutely nauseating ideas:

  • "Add cubed pumpkin or butternut squash to your morning hot cereal." This way you'll stop eating oatmeal too.
  • "Steam the stems of the broccoli, purée, and add to hummus or guacamole. Brocomoli!" That's just disgusting.
  • "Add

    grated carrots and slices of cooked butternut squash to your next

    grilled-cheese sandwich. " Someone should force-feed this to Ms. James.

And here's a bizarre one:

"Try cutting the carrot sticks into little rounds instead of slices."


someone ought to tell Ms. Holistic that carrots don't naturally come in

stick form and that if you slice a carrot, you will naturally end up

with a little round.

And finally:

Only ten days until Cinco de Mayo. Now is the time to stock up on barf bags!

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein