4
| Columns |

Paula's Worst and Best Restaurant Experiences in Miami: Dirty Sushi and a Breastito Mojito

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Short Order recently walked up to Paula Hiebert and two friends cause we heard her laugh from a mile away. She's just a random lady I figured would have a funny story. Paula Hiebert wants her first and last name used in this blog so that when her friends from high school google her it'll come up. We asked her what her worst and best restaurant experiences ever were. She was more than happy to tell us. Here's what she had to say:

  • Worst: "I cut into a steak and it was green in the middle. Red and green. The waiter came over and apologized a million times. They gave me all kinds of free gift certificates to eat there, which, it's funny that they wanted me to come back and eat there after that. They did get me really drunk though, which was nice."
  • Second Worst: "It was a sushi restaurant. My tummy didn't feel so great. The tuna was a little slimy & I was three rolls in when I noticed. I went home and I was singing to the porcelain throne."
  • Second Best: "One of my most wonderful restaurant experiences was at the Waldorf on South Beach. The beef was tender, just like I like it. The best is when they just love you to death at the table. I flirt with every waiter I've ever had, girl or boy, I'm not prejudiced."
  • Best: "The best ever was at Blue Door at The Delano. This girl served me a cocktail and the strap of her shirt slid off her shoulder and her boob was served with the drink, it just popped right out in my face. It was quite nice. The pepperoni was perky. The mojito came with a breastito. By the way it was natural, I'm quite sure. I gave her a ten dollar tip immediately I might add. That whole night was very nice."

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.