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Paula's Worst and Best Restaurant Experiences in Miami: Dirty Sushi and a Breastito Mojito

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Short Order recently walked up to Paula Hiebert and two friends cause we heard her laugh from a mile away. She's just a random lady I figured would have a funny story. Paula Hiebert wants her first and last name used in this blog so that when her friends from high school google her it'll come up. We asked her what her worst and best restaurant experiences ever were. She was more than happy to tell us. Here's what she had to say:

  • Worst: "I cut into a steak and it was green in the middle. Red and green. The waiter came over and apologized a million times. They gave me all kinds of free gift certificates to eat there, which, it's funny that they wanted me to come back and eat there after that. They did get me really drunk though, which was nice."
  • Second Worst: "It was a sushi restaurant. My tummy didn't feel so great. The tuna was a little slimy & I was three rolls in when I noticed. I went home and I was singing to the porcelain throne."
  • Second Best: "One of my most wonderful restaurant experiences was at the Waldorf on South Beach. The beef was tender, just like I like it. The best is when they just love you to death at the table. I flirt with every waiter I've ever had, girl or boy, I'm not prejudiced."
  • Best: "The best ever was at Blue Door at The Delano. This girl served me a cocktail and the strap of her shirt slid off her shoulder and her boob was served with the drink, it just popped right out in my face. It was quite nice. The pepperoni was perky. The mojito came with a breastito. By the way it was natural, I'm quite sure. I gave her a ten dollar tip immediately I might add. That whole night was very nice."

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


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