Of Luna and Lunatics

My post last week about Luna PIzza's opening party and the entertainment provided by students from The Miami Charter School generated quite a strong reaction. I think crazy strong.

Here is, in its entirety (I've added CAPS to a few words I think might have been missed the first time around), the post that SO offended folks:

Free Pizza With Basel
Luna Corner Pizza (6815 Biscayne Blvd.) is throwing a grand opening bash this coming Saturday, December 5 from noon to 6:00 p.m., right smack dab in the middle of the Taste of MiMo festival, right smack dab in the middle of Art Basel. Free tastings of gourmet Italian pizzas will be handed out, and Luna Corner has agreed to donate 10% of the proceeds from the event to the Miami Arts Charter School. Now lessee, 10% of free pizza is...

The Charter School's students will be entertaining via carolers, dancers and sketch artists. That sounds sort of awful, but the restaurant will also unveil a temporary art installation featuring decorated pizza boxes -- which sounds worse, BUT SHOULD IN FACT BE INTERESTING, as the exhibit consists of small and large white Luna Corner Pizza cartons that have been covered with poems, photographs and drawings by the students. The event is free and open to the public. And maybe you should buy a slice of pizza after gulping down the freebies so you can feel good about having donated something to a worthy cause -- you know, like teaching kids to express themselves by scrawling upon pizza boxes.

Then, because I saw that people were reacting harshly, I posted the following comment:
As for Luna and the Charter School -- I was really attempting to make fun of carolers, sketch artists, and the notion of kids expressing themselves upon pizza boxes. I can see how some might have read my humor as being non-supportive of Luna and the school kids, but that wasn't my intention.

Listed below are a few of the reactions, all of which came in after I wrote that I wasn't trying to be non-supportive. I am reprinting all of this because I think it's downright scary that people can get whipped into such a frenzy over what is an innocuous post, followed by a clarification, that, in fact, let people know all the facts they needed to know about Luna's opening party. Don't think it's funny? Fine. It isn't exactly a knee-slapper. But get a load of these responses:

Jen Karetnick started a comment-writing campaign on her Facebook page because "Attacking children is NEVER OK."
Attacking children? Please.

Angry Parent: "What have the children ever done to you, Mr. Klein? May God punish you for your remarks."
He already has -- by putting humorless people like you in this world.

CLJ:"Kick any puppies recently? You know, to help out the ASPCA?"

Marla Boykens: "This writer really needs to be fired."

Mere:"Are you sure you aren't in middle school, because you are definitely acting like it."

Frodnesor: "I am almost nearly at a loss for words over this, wherein local food writer decides to go to war with a new pizzeria and the local charter school for which said pizzeria is doing a charity event."
War? With a new pizzeria?  Frod: Please re-read paragraph.

Anonymous: "Students are full of potential and I tell mine every single day. The last thing they need is to read a ridiculous article that cares more about a restaurant's decoration during a FUNDRAISER than the food served."
This writer interpreted the paragraph to be about decoration? And this person is a teacher?

God save us.

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein