Break out your plastic containers, glass jars, and individual size serving packets of that funky yellow condiment America loves. Today is National mustard day.
Soon Biscayne Boulevard will be engulfed in a roaring flood of that French's. Dijon fights will erupt spontaneously in parking lots across Hialeah. Kids all over Cocoplum will load their Supersoakers with Grey Poupon and blast each other into oblivion. Old folks in Sunny Isles will load their pastramis on rye with extra spicy brown and then pass mustard gas.
We called some local restaurants out of our extensive database to see what they had lined up for the holiday. Here's what they had to say...
Keg South of Kendall
12805 SW 136th Ave
Kendall, FL 33186
NewTimes: Calling to see what kind of specials you're running for National Mustard Day.
KegSouth: What? National what?
KS: Hold on.
KS: We got Amberbocks for $1.50.
NT: What else?
KS: Burgers, sliders, the usual, and we use French's mustard, no Grey Poupon.
7230 SW 59th Ave
South Miami, FL 33143
NT: Whatreyall doin for National Mustard Day?
DL: I didn't even know anything about it, I don't think we'll be doing anything special for that. We have no special plans that day.
NT: Geez, do you even serve mustard there?
DL: I mean, we serve mustard on request, Golden's Yellow, and Grey Poupon Dijon on all the hamburgers and other stuff.
NT: Do you use mustard in your personal life?
DL: I like mustard on just about everything, including french fries.
NT: Well don't you feel like there might be other people out there like you, real mustard enthusiasts that would wanna celebrate the holiday?
DL: I wouldn't go that far.
NT: Would you ever watch chicks wrestle in mustard?
DL: Nah I haven't seen that.
NT: But if you saw it would you watch?
DL: I'd probably look.
Fox's Sherron Inn
6030 S Dixie Hwy
South Miami, FL 33143
NT: Any plans for mustard day?
FSI: We got a happy hour Monday- Saturday 2 for 1's from 4 - 7 pm.
NT: How do you feel about mustard?
FSI: It's alright.
NT: What kind of mustard do you like?
NT: Did you know that most Dijon mustard isn't even made in Dijon?
NT: You ever been in a mustard fight?
FSI: No. You need to go speak to my manager cause he's about 20 years younger than me. I'm 50 and this sounds like something marketed toward 15 year olds. I got people waiting for their drinks, I gotta go.
Lots of Lox At Cutler Rd
20445 Old Cutler Rd
Cutler Bay, FL 33189
NT: Hello, I'm calling from the newspaper we're doing a survey as part of a special report on mustard for national mustard day. Do you have anything special planned for the holiday over there at Lots Of Lox?
LOX: This is the first time I ever heard of it. I never really heard about it. I really don't, I don't like mustard, I'm not a mustard person, I'm a ketchup and mayonnaise person.
NT: Well, I know Lots Of Lox has a lot of history in the mustard day parade and everything...
LOX: We actually just changed ownership about a week ago?
NT: So you're gonna have some big shoes to fill in regards to mustard and the parade...
LOX: I realize that now. We'll order a lot of mustard.
NT: What're the most popular mustards you got in use over there?
LOX: Honey mustard and mustard curry.
NT: What's that? I never heard of it.
LOX: It's a spicy mustard.
NT: What would you say to people that think that's un-American.
LOX: They're probably right,
NT: You ever heard about Irish mustard?
LOX: No, what's that?
NT: It's got whiskey in it.
LOX: So you get a little buzz when you eat it?
NT: I don't know you gotta ask an Irish person
LOX: Right. This, there's no way that this is for real. If I'm punk'd on the radio or whatever that's cool.
NT: You ever been in a mustard fight?
LOX: No I have not, maybe when I was five.
NT: How'd that work out?
LOX: I was five.
Jerusalem Market & Deli
16275 Biscayne Blvd
Sunny Isles Beach, FL 33160
NT: Yes, calling from the newspaper to find about any specials you're doing for National Mustard Day.
JM: Which newspaper sir?
NT: New Times...Calling to find out about what you got special for mustard day?
JM: Which day?
NT: National mustard day. On Wednesday
JM: We got all the stuff like before. You know?
NT: Well, some people are getting ready for the big parade and all the deli's are gonna send someone out in the mustard suit. You gonna do that?
JM: No, we don't have the mustard suit
NT: Well what kind of mustard specials you gonna be doing?
JM: We don't use mustard, we don't use mustard, this a Middle Eastern food, Lebanese
NT: So, no mustard?
JM: Yeah you must be mistaken, we don't ah use that here
NT: Well, what do you got?
JM: We have chicken kabob sandwich, lamb sandwich.....
NT: And what kind of sauce you put on it?
JM: We put tahini sauce, made of sesame seed
NT: So that's like your mustard?
NT: But what about you in your personal life, do you use mustard?
JM: Right, yeah, of course, yeah, but I don't sell to you.
NT: What else you got to eat there?
JM: The kibbeh, the grape leaves, the hummus, the fattoush, Lebanese dishes.
NT: What if you saw someone put mustard on a fattoush?
JM: No they don't use. It's wrong
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