Monty's, Balans, and Blue Martini: Fatty Drinks the FDA Doesn't Want You to Know

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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration seems to believe that when it comes to alcohol consumption, ignorance is bliss. It's easy to suck down those creamy, calorie-ridden drinks without thinking about fat and sugar intake, but are we doing ourselves a disservice by indulging in empty calories? The FDA's nationwide proposal attempts to address the public's blind side when eating out at the mall. Yet the new rules completely gloss over cocktail menus, which will continue to hold untold calorie counts. Chain restaurants such as the Cheesecake Factory that peddle drinks described with words like milkshake and creamsicle will not be required to divulge the ingredients in their alcoholic offerings.

With obesity in our country at an all-time high, where does the FDA get off passing the buck on cocktail consumption?

The Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau apparently has authority over alcohol,

giving do-gooders at the FDA an exemption from judgment. The proposal

is now open for public comment, courtesy of the health-care reform law

last year. So speak your piece now before Congress implements the

program in 2012.

Here are the goods on

some local signature drinks. We used Lance Armstrong's Livestrong site for the establishing information, because we know Lance likes to live healthy.

Blue Martini's "caramel swirl" (vodka, Irish cream liqueur, cream, and caramel) is tricky,

but even if there is only ounce ounce of each ingredient, this cocktail

hovers around 400 calories with a minimum fat intake of five grams.


offenders include Balans's

"kinky orgasm" (amaretto, Bailey's cream liqueur, Kahlua, and milk), which

is impossible to calculate owing to Bailey's company calorie secret.

But Monty's 16-ounce "bushwacker" is the real heart-stopper (rum, Kahlua,

cream of coconut, pineapple juice, and chocolate syrup), with approximately

700 calories. Drink at your own peril. You've been advised.

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