That should be the motto of everyone's weekend. What would Short Order do?
Would Short Order stay in, watch TV, munch on a bag of chips while life is happening outside? Nope. Would Short Order pass up on an invitation to brunch with friends where bottomless mimosas [and Miller Lite] come out to less than 30 bucks per person? Never.
So while you make your plans this weekend, ask WWSOD.
You can't miss them when you're walking down Ocean Drive. The tiny battery-operated open-air cars usually tote five or so passengers at a time -- usually blasting the music of their choice. It's called Swoop. Give 'em a call from pretty much anywhere on the Beach, and they'll pick you up and give you a ride for free. It's a sweet deal. But what makes it even sweeter is pairing up a free ride and a cute call name (Swoop Swoop!) with some tasty local eats from places like Crumb on Parchment, La Latina, and Wynwood Kitchen & Bar. Try everything from delicious vegan cupcakes to super-Miami cafe con leches and pastelitos de guava con queso. The tours take off every Wednesday and Friday at 10:30 a.m.
Miami's own Howie Kleinberg, of Bulldog Barbecue, is no stranger to the small screen -- he was on Top Chef Miami in 2007, after all -- but this Sunday he'll be starring in Destination America's BBQ Pitmasters. Alongside some of the South's finest pit bosses, Kleinberg will put his 'cue head to head with the likes of Robbie Royal of Rescue Smokers from Syracuse, Georgia and Jack Waiboer of Common Interest in Charleston, South Carolina at the Bixby BBQ and Blues Festival. Tune in and watch the carnage Sunday at 9 p.m.
There's a YOLO joke in here somewhere, but we'll refrain from using it to save our souls from eternal damnation. Unlike the small wooden or plastic toy we played with as children, the Venezuelan yoyo is
a sandwich un sangwiche. Where normal sandwiches hold together its contents via bread slices, the yoyo, el sangwiche of the gods, uses deep fried plantains are its preferred vehicle, instead. Choose chicken, pork, or beef and top with crisp lettuce, tomato and melty cheese. A toothpick will help you keep it together, but really, it's all in your head. Keep your head together, and you'll keep your life together. It's very much the same concept while you devour the yoyo.
Y'all, you know the world has hit a new
health low high when you find "Kegs & Eggs" paired with the words "breakfast" and "brunch." Lawwwwd, have mercy on our arteries. Brother Jimmy's is pulling out Southern barbecue spins on brunch classics like deep fried and battered peanut butter and jelly-stuffed French toast and Carolina pulled-pork eggs Benedict (que QUE?!). Baskets of corn bread and other assorted Southern-style loafs of love? Sweet Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, y'all. We'll gladly sign over the rights to our estate ("estate") because we're going to heaven right after a meal like that.
Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.