While the rest of Miami preps for another relaxing weekend on the beach, you're frantically crossing things off your kids' back-to-school check list.
Number 2 pencils. Notebooks. Folders. Loose-leaf paper. Note cards. Backpacks. That horrific One Direction binder your daughter is begging for.
It's all enough to be a suitable stand-alone form of birth control, honestly. Lest we forget the entire other part of going back to school: Every kid's gotta eat lunch.
The young whippersnappers will barter for chocolate pudding cups and negotiate for a Big Grab of Cheetos, but you should take matters into your own hands and pack a more health-conscious lunch come this school year. Your snarky, forever-single-and-childless friends at Short Order will help.
XO, Aunt Short Order