Things To Do

Miami's Best Eats and Drinks this Weekend: Back to School and a 20 Buck Wine Class

While the rest of Miami preps for another relaxing weekend on the beach, you're frantically crossing things off your kids' back-to-school check list.

Number 2 pencils. Notebooks. Folders. Loose-leaf paper. Note cards. Backpacks. That horrific One Direction binder your daughter is begging for.

It's all enough to be a suitable stand-alone form of birth control, honestly. Lest we forget the entire other part of going back to school: Every kid's gotta eat lunch.

The young whippersnappers will barter for chocolate pudding cups and negotiate for a Big Grab of Cheetos, but you should take matters into your own hands and pack a more health-conscious lunch come this school year. Your snarky, forever-single-and-childless friends at Short Order will help.

XO, Aunt Short Order

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Alex Rodriguez