Food News

The Miami contingent of is no more. Here's their goodbye message to Miami.

"Looking for free booze? Oh. Yeah. About that... We had to fire the entire staff after squandering most of the Myopenbar fortune on Cadillacs and Courvoisier. Call it an "MC Hammer," call it a damn shame, but don't call it a comeback, baby, 'cause we out of this game.

Come on, you all knew this communist mumbo-jumbo wasn't gonna last forever.

In the meantime, New Yorkers, we've still got your back. Miami, we'll let you know if we hear about something special. So open those emails, suckas!

Word to your moms."

You can almost hear their New York hipster rat claws scurrying up the 95, running scared from a city they don't understand, crying behind their big talk and insults. Should we think good riddance or bad sign? We'll see this summer.

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Jacob Katel
Contact: Jacob Katel