It's dusk on a Saturday, and I'm asking Javier, the waiter, to add $8 artichokes to my $24 pizza. The Colombian 20-something with a Salvador Dalí mustache squats in front of my table, strokes his whiskers, and looks cool.
"One calzone with shallots and porcini," he parrots. "And a pie with garlic, basil, and artichokes."
I order a few beers and try not to think about the bill, which already exceeds $60. At Lucali, a 4-month-old pizza place in South Beach's Sunset Harbour, I dread the check like Amanda Bynes fears the tabloids. In front of Javier and his mustache, though, I can't lose my composure. He's just so damn cool.