Avast ye mateys and listen to a fantastical tale of how to get free booty!
Today, September 19, is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, better known as "bring your parrot to work day".
Today and only today, it's perfectly acceptable to trade in your iPad for an eye patch, not brush your teeth (or tooth if you happen to actually be a real pirate), drink rum from your coffee mug, and speak to your co-workers in a combination of olde English and animal sounds. (Note: please check with your human resources department about the rum-in-a-coffee-mug part).
This illustrious holiday, in which you get to channel your inner Jack Sparrow, sees much reward for those brave enough to sail the seven seas in search of booty, with several places celebrating right along with you. Here's where to claim your gold, matey:
If it's gold you seek, look no further than your local Long John Silver where you'll find the treasure in the guise of golden fried fish filets and hush puppies. Walk into any of the restaurants, named after the famous pirate, and say "Arrrrrgh!" You'll be rewarded with a free piece of whitefish with any purchase.
There are two ways for doughnut-lubbers to get their share of the booty at Krispy Kreme shops today. Talk like a pirate and you'll receive a free glazed doughnut. If you want to go all out, dress like a pirate and you'll get a dozen glazed doughnuts for free.
As with all ships (even pirate ships), there are rules. In order to be considered in "full pirate regalia", you must wear at least three of the following items: pirate hat; bandana; costume hook; pirate shirt; knickers; peg leg; eye patch; or parrot. Weapons are not permitted in the store so leave your swords and your muskets at home!
From 4 to 11 p.m., come dressed in pirate and wench finery and you'll get happy hour prices all night at this South Beach waterfront watering hole.
In addition, the best looking couple will receive $500 -- not bad for a night's plundering! Monty's Sunset is also offering a special pirate menu -- be sure to ask for extra crackers for your parrot! Special menu items include:
Sunset Treasure Trove ($8) with kettle fried chips, pancetta cracklins, feta crumble, sweet hot peppers, and garlic aioli.
X Marks the Spot Salad ($12) AAAARRRRugala Salad, watermelon cross bone, feta, and toasted almonds.
Walk the Plank Grouper ($24) cedar planked chili-lime glazed grouper, roasted tomato, grilled asparagus, and cilantro rice.
Bone Stew ($14) ox tail stew, sea biscuits, rice and mixed vegetables.
Buried Treasure ($8) graham cracker pudding with hidden treats.
For those of you who may need a little "cross-boning" up on their pirate speak, check out talklikeapirate.com for handy lines like:
"Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?" and "That's some treasure chest you've got there!"