Columns

How to Navigate Whole Foods' Cafeteria Without Getting Burned

It's noon on a weekday. You're running late. Alton Road traffic has sparked you to make wild, violent hand gestures. Suddenly, in the distance, you espy solar panels, pumpkins, and a Prius. It's the smallest freaking Whole Foods in the entire world! (AKA the South Beach store.)

You go inside. Surrounded by kombuchas and herbal soaps, you elbow your way toward the cafeteria.

You're hangry. And you're at Whole Foods.

What follows is a guide to the organic conglomerate's hot and cold food sections -- tips that'll ensure you never get burned by this pricey store, even when you're hungry, angry, or -- worse -- both.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Emily Codik