It's noon on a weekday. You're running late. Alton Road traffic has sparked you to make wild, violent hand gestures. Suddenly, in the distance, you espy solar panels, pumpkins, and a Prius. It's the smallest freaking Whole Foods in the entire world! (AKA the South Beach store.)

You go inside. Surrounded by kombuchas and herbal soaps, you elbow your way toward the cafeteria.

You're hangry. And you're at Whole Foods.

What follows is a guide to the organic conglomerate's hot and cold food sections -- tips that'll ensure you never get burned by this pricey store, even when you're hungry, angry, or -- worse -- both.