Dear Krispy Kreme,
When we first met, I was still so young. My metabolism posed no threat to our hot and steamy trysts. Everything was all so fresh and new.
I admit, I got a little obsessed. Not in a creepy, calling-you-and-hanging-up sort of way. It was more like a late-night-Internet-trawling-for-your-picture sort of crush.
Our planned rendezvous were enough to get me through the most mundane parts of college. It was you who got me through studying for the genetics final; I can now only remember the cloned sheep’s name was Dolly.
But, like Dolly, our passion couldn’t last.
It didn’t feel so special when you started showing up at truckstops and gas stations. It felt so dirty. Soon, I started to see the real you - the carbs and the fat - beyond your sweet act.
It seems like I’m not the only one who has discovered the real you. When I heard you picked up and left two spots -- one in Doral, another in South Miami -- I have to say I wasn’t surprised. The man who answered your main number confirmed it. You left last month. But he wouldn’t tell me why.
I did find this last Miami address for you when I thought about saying goodbye in person: 590 N.E. 167th St. Your last stand.
Wishing you all the best, whatever streetcorner you end up on. But, I’m sorry Krispy, it will have to be without me. --Janine Zeitlin
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.