Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the cup is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "OK, I've got two teas. Which of you asked for the clean cup?"
How many waitresses does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. Two to stand around bitching about it and one to go get the manager.
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Sid and Sy were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. "Sid," asked Sy, "Are there any Jews in Mexico?"
"I don't know," Sy replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"
When the waiter came by, Sy asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Mexican Jews."
"Are you sure?" Sy asked.
"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, "I can't believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere."
When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Mexican Jews."
"Are you positive?" Sid said.
"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied, exasperated. "We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews, and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews!"