Columns

Friday Food Funnies: Sushi

We're going with a sushi theme this week, with a couple of seafood-related ha-ha's thrown in because, as it turns out, very few people have ever written or said anything funny about raw fish. If you've heard any good nigiri jokes, please feel free to share 'em with us.

I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.  ~George Carlin.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, 'Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner!' ~Lynda Montgomery.

In Mexico we have a word for sushi. Bait. ~Jose Simon

It's so beautifully arranged on the plate, you know someone's fingers have been all over it.  ~Julia Child

I was once watching this documentary on Discovery channel. They had this Asian family cooking scorpions. The reporter asked one of the family members: 'What does it taste like?' The family member responded: 'Tastes like penguin'. ~Octane

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? ~Unknown

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein