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Friday Food Funnies: Random Knee-Slappers

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He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. ~Milton Berle

There's a pizza place near where I live that only sells slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air. ~Steven Wright

Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn ever made was made in 1911. ~Lewis Black

A bum came up to me saying "I haven't eaten in two days!" I said "You should force yourself!"  ~Henny Youngman

Before judging a thin man, one must get some information. Perhaps he was once fat. ~Fernand Point

Rice is good when you're really hungry and want to eat a thousand of something. -Mitch Hedberg

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.