A rather profound compendium of funnies this week:
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. ~Groucho Marx
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, 'I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.' The waitress replies, 'I'm sorry, monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?' ~Unknown
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. ~Douglas Adams
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A billion hours ago, human life appeared on earth. A billion minutes ago, Christianity emerged. A billion Coca-Colas ago was yesterday morning. ~ Unknown
Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks. ~Marilyn Wann
The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world. ~Robert Orben
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~Steven Wright