Columns

Friday Food Funnies: Best Of

This used to be a regular Short Order feature, but it was suspended mainly because there simply aren't that many good jokes about eating, restaurants, or food. Surprising, but true. There are actually lots and lots of jokes about the subjects, but funny ones are far fewer. Our supply was just about exhausted. I'm going to start exploring again, but here in the meantime are a few oldies but goodies.

I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops. ~Marie Mott

I went to a fancy French restaurant called 'Deja Vu'. The headwaiter said, 'Don't I know you?' ~Rod Schmidt

When I go to a restaurant, I always ask for a chicken and an egg to see which comes first. ~Unknown


Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, 'Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner!' ~Lynda Montgomery.

We have just received news that Betty Crocker has passed away. Funeral services will be held tomorrow at 3:50 for 25 to 30 minutes. ~Unknown

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, it probably needs a little more time in the microwave. ~Lori Dowdy

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein