Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. ~Woody Allen

Now that it's fashionable to reveal intimate details of married life, I can state publicly that my wife, Alice, has a weird predilection for limiting our family to three meals a day. ~Calvin Trillin

In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, "Sorry, we're open." ~Roseanne Barr

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. ~Andy Rooney

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I saw a wino eating grapes, and I said "Dude - you've got to WAIT."  ~Mitch Hedburg

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