Columns

Friday Food Funnies: Animal Crackers, Restaurants, and Kids

I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough... ~Brian Kiley

The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums. ~Peter De Vries

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still. ~Calvin Trillin

The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?" ~Erma Bombeck

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. ~Fran Lebowitz

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein