Would somebody please explain to me those signs in restaurants that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog or the blind person? ~Jerry Seinfeld
We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to
food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in
Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?! ~Chris Rock
Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we
missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough
Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week. ~Lewis Black
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McDonald's announced it's considering a more humane way of
slaughtering its animals. Right now, their method is to fatten them up
and then kill them. You know -- the same thing they do to their
customers. ~Jay Leno