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FFF: Seinfeld, Leno, Black, and Rock

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Would somebody please explain to me those signs in restaurants that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog or the blind person? ~Jerry Seinfeld

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to

food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in

Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?! ~Chris Rock

Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we

missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough

Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week. ~Lewis Black

McDonald's announced it's considering a more humane way of

slaughtering its animals. Right now, their method is to fatten them up

and then kill them. You know -- the same thing they do to their

customers. ~Jay Leno

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.