FFF: Leftovers

These are some of the funnies I've compiled for this column over the past year, but either they didn't fit in thematically or I just wasn't that crazy about them. Either way, gotta clear out the cupboard.

How complicated can ice cream flavors be? How much can you put in there? I mean, when the flavor's something like banana ice cream with caramel, fudge chunks, cheddar goldfish, and pennies -- you've got to draw a line there. ~Marc Maron

Shake and shake the ketchup bottle. None'll come, and then a lot'll. ~Richard Armour

Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life. ~Dorothy Parker

Two potatoes are walking down the street. One of them is a prostitute. How can you tell which one?

It's the one stamped "Idaho."

"Toward a better world I contribute my modest smidgen; I eat the squab, lest it become a pigeon."

If they like it, it serves four; otherwise six. ~Elsie Zussman

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >