Columns

FFF: Chinese Food, Lobsters, Jesus, and Grape Nuts

They had a sign up: the lobsters were flown in. How cruel is that? Think about that -- let's say you're a lobster, you've never been on an airplane before -- what else can you think, but you've won the lobster sweepstakes? ~Richard Jeni

With a wok, in the privacy of your home, you can create your own mediocre Chinese food for 50 cents less than ordering take-out. ~Todd Barry

Something always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: 'Could you take my order before Jesus gets back?' ~Darrell Hammond

Whenever I have food ordered  in, I try to decide what is the worst way to come to the door, and I've decided it's tied to a chair. ~Laura Kightlinger

My favorite cold cereal is Grape Nuts -- except lots of times I forget to put milk on them the night before I want to eat them. ~Frank Prinzi

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein