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Eisenhower, Kennedy, and the Bay of Pig's Feet

Since America began closing mental institutions in 1955, the streets have been deluged with mentally unbalanced individuals unable to care for themselves. (Blame JFK for that guy you see on your way to work every morning, who sits at the curb mumbling about spacemen and radioactive jelly beans.)

As I am sure many of you have already noticed, Miami is a mecca for homeless people who are mentally ill. I am sure there are many, many reasons, such as the gorgeous weather. But in any case, they are here to stay -- and steal pickled food.

Homeless people suffering from mental illness need help -- they should not be wandering the streets pilfering pig's feet. Take a news brief I recently read on The Miami Herald's website, for example. I cannot fathom that the individual in the following story is 'right in the head' as they say.

Police were called to a Chevron gas station in North Miami, around 200 Street and NW 27 Avenue, at about 10 p.m. on March 28 to handle a "situation."

A man, who had been banned from the store by police due to previous incidents, was caught by store employees with his hand in the cookie jar. Well, the pickled egg jar. Or pickled sausage. The story didn't specify.

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After immersing his hands into several jars of pickled food, he declared the items unsellable, then proceeded to eat some of the items.

The police estimated the damages at $48, which begs the question--does Chevron carry pickled truffles?

I don't know what items he ate, or which jars he dipped his paws into, but I do know this--if it weren't for JFK, this man would be in a hospital where he belongs.

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