Conan/Haiti Mash

"They put all the bodies in the streets, lined up. There was a school, about 60 kids. The whole school dropped down. You're talking about three stories, all the kids dead."
-- Jimmy Louis, talking about tragedy in Haiti

"My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard, and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't The Tonight Show."
-- Conan O'Brien, talking about tragedy at NBC

"Volunteers said the baby was likely dead and that Supplice would likely not survive more than 12 hours. Her father, sitting nearby, broke down at the news."
-- Jacqueline Charles, reporting on a father's pain for the Miami Herald

"I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it."
-- Conan O'Brien on his own personal pain

"If he used to eat two rolls, maybe now he can only eat half of one, so he can save for tomorrow."
-- Alain Moraille, in the Herald, talking about his father's shitty situation in Haiti

"This level of shittiness was not expected," one source said. "He's done a great job for NBC. He moved his entire staff, he moved his family to L.A. And five months later, they repay him like this?"
-- Source reporting on Conan's shitty situation in Los Angeles

Haiti's per capita income is $790 a year, but that includes millionaires; it is believed that the real per capita income is less than $300 a year.

O'Brien has two and a half years left on his contract; reports of his annual salary vary widely, from $10 million to $25 million.The deal under discussion would provide for a settlement of more than $30 million and allow him to start a new show as early as this fall.

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein