Black Friday deals this year will be even better than usual. According to Bloomberg, if customers bought everything on the Toys "R" Us circular this year, they would save $12,500, up from $11,000 last year. Stores are opening earlier, giving you and the other ravenous holiday deal shoppers even more time to claw, kick, and elbow your ways to $19 Gap jeans and J.C. Penney's $30 kids' camcorders.
With competition this fierce, you've got to fuel up like a champion endurance athlete if you're going to score the best schwag. Otherwise, you'll be panting and sweating on the sidelines, watching the better-hydrated, better-fed shoppers scoop up the $275 laptops you've been salivating over all week.
Luckily, we've got a nutritional plan that will ensure you take gold in the Black Friday deal-grabbing Olympics. However, we are not responsible for anyone who sustains injuries at your enraged and over-fortified shopping-obsessed hands.