Are you awake? Probably not. Last night's mega-galactic Heat win against the San Antonio Spurs reminded us that high-stress activities (like sitting in front of the TV set, you see) is dangerous for our health.
Naturally, we waited for another Chris Bosh celebratory champagne facial after the game. If it had happened, we would've thrown that right up here for you all to enjoy in GIF form. Alas, we're stuck instead with a superamazing weekend guide fit for a celebration of summer and being the baddest city on the planet.
Reyka Vodka Summer Solstice Party
Today marks the first day of summer. We know what you're thinking. WTF, it's been hotter than hell outside and summer didn't start until today?! Right you are, old chap. This is the price we pay for living in the world's best city. Deal with it -- these places want to help: At 5 o'clock tonight, the Broken Shaker at Freehand Miami will kick off the Icelandic vodka brand's three-part summer solstice party. Start the night with a laid-back bonfire with s'mores and a Spanish acoustic set by Jean Espiritusanto. Japanese lanterns, bamboo tiki torches, and a hand-cut ice block for cocktails will be present for your enjoyment. Take advantage of $6 Reyka specials and a punch bowl feature. After that, the party continues at Nikki Beach and then at the Gale South Beach.
Summer Seafood Kickoff Party
Florida Cookery is pumped for summer. Unlike the rest of us heading to the sunscreen aisle at Publix, the Florida fare restaurant is whipping out the shrimp and ceviche. Tonight from 7 to 9 on the newly opened patio, celebrate the coming of summer with a poolside affair. The new summer menu brings with it a 50 percent discount on select spirits and complimentary valet parking for locals (seven days a week) through Labor Day. Guests at the kickoff party, which is free and open to the public with RSVP, will enjoy complimentary signature cocktails and light bites from the new menu.
Area 31's Summer Solstice Party
Celebrating the official start of summer with its Summer Solstice Party tonight from 5 to 7, Brickell's Area 31 will do so with one of the best views in Miami. Toast to the year's longest day with complimentary appetizers and cocktails from bar chef Ahmed George on the restaurant's newly renovated outdoor terrace. DJ Kristian Caro will be on the ones and twos, and discounted valet will be offered. Area 31's "Veuve on the Clock" happy hour and menu will also be available until 8 p.m.
Hell's Kitchen Casting Call
Opportunity is calling. He's knocking on your door and about to raise Hell. 1500 Degrees' Paula DaSilva told Short Order earlier this week: "They're looking for a variety of different personalities, from the crazies to the person who's more calm and passive." She would know -- she's been on the show. Personally, we think an invitation for "the crazies" is the optimal time to take advantage of any casting call. This could be your big break after all, you crazy cook, you. You can get all the details about the Hell's Kitchen casting call here. Good luck, and let us know if you attended -- we'd love to hear the story.
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Eat Like a Soprano
The world lost a great actor this week. Though James Gandolfini will live on forever as one of the entertainment industry's greatest villains, we still want to take the opportunity to mourn properly. We could do a The Sopranos binge by rewatching back-to-back seasons this weekend. Lord knows we have them all on Blu-Ray. Or we could avoid sulking with a pint of ice cream and instead eat something of substance. A big Italian meal with friends and family honoring the life of one of Hollywood's most beloved actors sounds like a good way to cope -- a meal alla Sopranos.
Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.