Apocalypse Gift Guide: Zombie Jerky, Brain Eater's Bible and More

Laine Doss December 21, 2012 10:00AM

[
          {
            "name": "Related Stories / Support Us Combo",
            "component": "12278355",
            "insertPoint": "4",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "6"
          },{
            "name": "Air - Billboard - Inline Content",
            "component": "12278351",
            "insertPoint": "2/3",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "7"
          },
          
          {
            "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size 2",
            "component": "12278352",
            "insertPoint": "12",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "12"
          },{
            "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size 2",
            "component": "12278352",
            "insertPoint": "4th",
            "startingPoint": "16",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "12"
          }
          
            ,{
              "name": "RevContent - In Article",
              "component": "13536732",
              "insertPoint": "3/5",
              "requiredCountToDisplay": "5"
            }
          
        ]

According to some interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar, the world will end today, December 21, 2012 (this is, of course, despite the fact that everyone -- including NASA -- has said otherwise).

Even if you believe such things, it's uncertain whether our world and everything on it will just suddenly cease to exist, if tidal waves and natural forces will wipe out all living creatures, or if the dead will walk the earth.

If a zombie apocalypse happens, that doesn't mean you don't have to get presents for your loved ones -- you just have to revise your gift list. In other words, your Aunt Millie who just turned into a walker won't be needing that Banana Republic sweater any more -- but she will need some other things -- like fresh brains.

We've compiled a list of some very special items guaranteed to make all your friends -- alive and undead -- very happy, indeed.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.

Make a one-time donation today for as little as $1.

Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times. She has been featured on Cooking Channel's Eat Street and Food Network's Great Food Truck Race. She won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature about what it's like to wait tables.

Contact: Laine Doss

Follow:

Facebook: Laine Doss

Twitter: @lainedoss