With the clock running down on Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, it somehow seems like cheating to re-cut past seasons into special editions. Maybe Bourdain's run out of places in the world to visit, maybe he's busy planning bolder itineraries for his upcoming CNN debut.
But even though last evening's Seven Deadly Sins edition was a "best of" countdown, no one does "sin" better than our cousin Tony.
Rome. You could take a four hour tour of the Vatican. Or, you could make like a Roman and sit at a tiny outdoor spot and eat and drink for those same four hours. Considering this is the lust segment, which do you think our intrepid traveler does? At a sidewalk cafe known only as "X", Tony sits down for a steaming plate of cacio e pepe and lots of cheap wine. Eat the food then buy a postcard of the Pope. God will understand.
Normally one would think of a sauna as a slothful place in which to hang out, get a steam, and relax. Not in this house of pain. Instead, Tony lies down on a bed lined with a plastic shower curtain (I believe this is the same procedure the mob uses when they're about to whack you) and gets sliced open several times. Tiny cups are placed on the wounds as the suction action draws blood from each opening. Fun times, indeed.
Samantha Brown is the adorable perky host of her own Travel Channel show in which she tells us about the hidden gems of DisneyWorld and the beaches on Paradise Island. That makes her fodder for many Bourdain jokes. In this clip, the wrath of Samantha comes out as she tells Tony that his shows are all about men eating stuff and that people kiss his ass like it's an amuse bouche.
Hawaiians are in love with SPAM and Tony needs to find out what's the obsession with this mystery meat in a can. Apparently, during World War Two, the good people of Hawaii were forced to eat the same rations as GI's. Instead of hating it, they grew to love it, as proven in this all-SPAM restaurant.
Bacarat at the worlds largest casino? Sure! Tony's got $2000 to gamble with.First he's up then down. Then up again. At the end of the day, he beats the house, leaving with about three grand more than what he started with. "Not a bad day at the office".
You know what chaps Tony's ass? Whenever some internet geek asks why he's not cooking anymore. So Tony goes back to the kitchen to see if he's still got what it takes. In a matter of minutes, he's in the weeds. "No matter how many people you cook for, others will take their place and you have to constantly swim upstream." In the end, Tony manages to not get burned, cut, or fired.
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SHOW ME HOW
Our friend Tony tells us that he is "guilty...guilty...guilty" of this particular sin. He's proud of his show, his writing, his daughter, and...his hair. So things get out of hand in Cambodia when his producers decide it's good television to get a shot of Tony getting a trim at one of the street side barbers. The trim turns into a full-blown disaster when the clippers come out. The result?
"A haircut of what could only be described as post lobotomy".