Food News

Al-Qaeda: Poison the Food, Don't Toss the Bombs!

Terrorists know how to hit us where it hurts.

Al-Qaeda bombed the World Trade Center, two shiny, towering examples of American capitalism. WTC was chosen partially because it was in New York, America's capital, and second because it represented America's greed.

Now the mentally unstable, yet curiously intuitive members of Al-Qaeda are trying to get to us through our other excessive indulgence: food.

American intelligence officials have discovered that there is an Al-Qaeda plot to poison the food at American hotels and restaurants. They plan to use ricin and cyanide to poison supplies being delivered to the United States for human consumption.

The Department of Homeland Security is not giving this threat credibility, stating that it is similar to those made online in jihadist publications where haters blow off steam about getting revenge on the best country in the world for being, well, better than their country.

Homeland Security thinks these are empty threats and nothing to worry about. An anonymous source in US intelligence circles, however, told CNN that the threat is "credible."

At least authorities have met with hotel and restaurant industry representatives to discuss possible precautions to ensure food safety. If they really want to screw with our food, they should just switch all our recipes with theirs.

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Ily Goyanes
Contact: Ily Goyanes