Unleash the Power of the Mormon | Riptide 2.0 | Miami | Miami New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Miami, Florida
Navigation

Unleash the Power of the Mormon

Both the Palm Beach Post and the Miami Herald are calling for Cam Cameron to cut John Beck's cord and let him fucking sling the rock already. I added the fucking for emphasis. Says Greg Stoda: "Let [Beck] heave more than one deep toss to Ted Ginn Jr ... Have...
Share this:

Both the Palm Beach Post and the Miami Herald are calling for Cam Cameron to cut John Beck's cord and let him fucking sling the rock already. I added the fucking for emphasis.

Says Greg Stoda:

"Let [Beck] heave more than one deep toss to Ted Ginn Jr ... Have him throw on first down more often than not. Give him the keys to the two-minute offense, and do it four or five times ... Enough with the kid-glove treatment. The Dolphins made the decision a few weeks ago to use the remainder of the season to study Beck, and time's a-wastin'."

Says Armando Salguero:

"In giving [Beck] the keys to the offense, they have declined to put any gas in the tank. While it is true Beck is now Miami's starting passer, he is more accurately the starter handing off to a running back. In other words, the Dolphins have put something of a tight leash on Beck. They have run the football 43 percent of the time this season but in the past two games since Beck became the starter, Miami has raised its runs frequency to 51 percent of the time..."

Yes, it was cold in Philly and it was the guy's first start. And Heinz field in Pittsburgh Monday was like playing in ankle deep sewage. But this week there's no excuse not to let Beck call down the power of God (being that they're good buddies and all) and let him throw all day. We're at home, facing a team we're actually favored against, staring down the last best shot we have at getting a win this year. And more than that, since we've lost Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams, our running back options have been dwindled down to a motley crew of crappiness. And, they're each dealing with very legitimate reasons why they'll be questionable options the rest of the way:

Jesse Chatman: Injured ankle, injured neck. Plus, he's a Hobbit.

Samkon Gado: Hired. Fired. Hired again. Plus, he's Nigerian. Don't they play soccer or some shit?

Patrick Cobbs: Leprechaun.

Squiggy: Just signed to the practice squad.

You've got two major newspapers calling for the same thing, you've got me, a super studly blogger, calling for this as well. Which means Cam Cameron is going to do the exact opposite of what we're all saying. Because Cam Cameron is like Ghandi. He's a man of deep convictions and purpose and does things his way even when they seem ridiculous to everyone else. And while Ghandi inspired millions and moved powerful governments to make changes, Cam calls play-actions on third and long or has his QB pitch the ball backwards seven yards when the team is a half-yard away from the endzone. And instead of teaching change through peaceful means, Cam calls off his kicker and decides to throw it on 4th and 11. And instead of impacting generations of people with his intellect, wisdom and innovative thinking, he calls for a running play when everyone in the stadium knows they're going to run the ball. So, in other words, nothing like Ghandi. -- Chris Joseph

Read more on sports from Chris Joseph at FinsNation.com

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.