Here Are the Worst Ideas the Florida Legislature Proposed This Year

Well, we've pretty much survived another 60-day Florida legislative session. As in most years, this lawmaking period involved hatred toward immigrants, crazy ideas about guns, extremely mean and regressive laws aimed at drug addicts, rules designed to destroy the environment, and liberal use of the N-word...

By Jerry Iannelli

May 7, 2017

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Well, we've pretty much survived another 60-day Florida legislative session. As in most years, this lawmaking period involved hatred toward immigrants, crazy ideas about guns, extremely mean and regressive laws aimed at drug addicts, rules designed to destroy the environment, and liberal use of the N-word. Sure, some good things happened this year: A few laws designed to help ease the pain of the War on Drugs and police state were passed, and the Legislature did approve a deal to help revive the Everglades.

But for the most part, lawmaking in Tallahassee this year involved tossing a bunch of legal nightmares at the wall; sacrificing a few orphans to Moloch, the biblical god of child-sacrifice; and hoping nobody noticed your terrible idea before it was written into law. Here's what the cretins slipped past us this year:

The awful ideas that passed but await Gov. Rick Scott's signature:

1. A bill ratcheting up the drug war, which imposes harsher fines on drug addicts caught with fentanyl.

2. A half-billion cut to Medicaid, including a $157 million slash to South Florida hospitals.

3. A ridiculous bill allowing parents of children in public schools to object to the science taught in their kids' science books.

4. A bill to exempt 2.7 million criminal records from public view.

5. Making the Stand Your Ground law even stronger (although lawmakers tempered the bill's language slightly).

The ones that didn't:

6. A medical marijuana bill that banned all forms of marijuana ingestion and then was amended to still ban smokable pot.

7. Allowing citizens to take guns into airports.

8. A blatantly unconstitutional bill increasing the penalties for crimes committed by undocumented people.

9. Forcing local residents to pay for electricity companies' random fracking projects across the country.

10. A bill forcing Medicaid recipients to work for their health care.

11. A 20-week abortion ban.

And, of course, one of the craziest things ever proposed by a sitting lawmaker:

12. Asking the federal government to abolish the U.S. Supreme Court and federal judicial system.

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Jerry Iannelli is a former staff writer for Miami New Times from 2015 to March 2020. He graduated with honors from Temple University. He then earned a master's degree in journalism from Columbia University.

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Twitter: @jerryiannelli