SpongeBob SquarePants Robs Florida 7-Eleven

What you see on your right is not an image from your nightmare nor a still from a Kubrick-inspired horror film. What you see is a capture from security footage depicting a very real Florida robbery in which a man dressed in a SpongeBob SquarePants mask held up a 7-Eleven...

By Kyle Munzenrieder

August 1, 2011

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "19274298",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17482312",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18711090",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17482310",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18711090",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17482313",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

What you see on your right is not an image from your nightmare nor a still from a Kubrick-inspired horror film. What you see is a capture from security footage depicting a very real Florida robbery in which a man dressed in a SpongeBob SquarePants mask held up a 7-Eleven near Orlando last week.

According to WPBF, the SpongeBob mask-clad robber and a collaborator burst into the chain convenience store in Osceola County on Thursday and demanded the clerk hand over the cash drawer at gunpoint.

Some shots were fired, but no one was injured. The daring duo (and unfortunately the other man did not appear to be dressed as Patrick the starfish) then made off with the cash.

"It's not unusual for criminals to disguise their identity," Osceola County Sheriff's spokesman Twis Lizasuain told the station. "It is unusual he would use that particular character."

And once more to really haunt your dreams:

If only Mr. Krabs was there to teach SpongeBob about the pleasure that comes with making an honest buck. If only I had a better SpongeBob-related joke to end this on, but please excuse me if my memory retention wasn't the best while watching episodes of SpongeBob.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.