Mugshots Friday: The World Is Mine

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that...

By Kyle Munzenrieder

February 22, 2013

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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 2/19

Charges: Battery

Now maybe you're thinking his girlfriend's name is Gloria and that's why it's tattooed on his neck. Perhaps his mother's. Or maybe he's just a really big fan of Gloria Estefan. We think you're all wrong. We just think that Laura Branigan song really, really resonates with him. (In case you're wondering, yes, those do appear to be some sort of cheekbone and forehead piercings.)Arrested: 2/15

Charges: Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon

Well, she didn't wear her boxing-glove earrings that day because she felt like not assaulting somebody. Any true fashionista accessorizes appropriately for the crime. Arrested: 2/20

Charges: Battery and Resisting an Officer Without Violence

I didn't know continually battering your face against asphalt counted as battery, but maybe this came after the resisting-an-officer charge. Who knows?

Arrested: 2/16

Charges: Cannabis Possession

We assume this is what happens when someone with OCD grows a beard. There's not a hair out of line on his entire head. Arrested: 2/14

Charges: Cannabis Possession

Come on, officers, sometimes we all do something so dumb to our hair we just wanna get a little high and forget about it. Arrested: 2/18

Charges: Battery on a Police Officer, Resisting Officer with Violence, Disorderly Intoxication and False Report of a Crime

This suspect was booked into jail as 66 years old, five feet tall, 195 pounds, and 100 percent don't-give-a-shit.

Arrested: 2/19

Charges: Cannabis Trafficking and 3rd Degree Theft

This guy looks like the Russian mob henchman in every B-list movie. So clearly he found his calling. Arrested: 2/14

Sometimes you don't know what you're missing until you find it, and clearly Mugshots Friday has long been missing a Scarface-style "The World Is Mine" globe tattoo. Arrested: 2/16

Charges: Disorderly Conduct

Whatever the hell this tattoo is, we probably could have gone without seeing it.

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