LeBron James: The Decision Live-Blog

Welcome to The Greatest Event In The History of Your Life! It's the LeBron James The Decision live-blog. Because an event this monumental must be live-blogged, even if he decides to screw the city of Miami over.Will he stay in Cleveland? Will he go to Chicago? Will he go to...

By Chris Joseph

July 8, 2010

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Welcome to The Greatest Event In The History of Your Life! It's the LeBron James The Decision live-blog. Because an event this monumental must be live-blogged, even if he decides to screw the city of Miami over.

Will he stay in Cleveland? Will he go to Chicago? Will he go to New York? Will he be the final piece of the puzzle to a Super Team here in Miami? Will he save us from a post-apocalyptic future where we're ruled by damn dirty apes? The time has come to find out. Tune into ESPN, and be sure to hit your refresh button. Then, prepare yourself to go insane should he announce he's coming to play with the Heat. Or, prepare yourself for the biggest sad trombone sound of all time.

LET'S DO THIS!

9:02: Chris Broussard insists the Heat are the team. This smells like a red herring.

9:05: You are looking live at the King! That makes me nauseous. Unless he announces he's coming to Miami. Then it's awesome.

9:07: This LeBron special needs more Wolf Blitzer polling a

confused senior citizens panel with touch screen voting controllers.

9:10: Broussard sticking to his guns that should LeBron choose Miami, they're going to destroy everyone with their gigantic nutsacks. BELIEVE.

9:11: People are afraid there won't be enough shots to around for Wade and LeBron and Bosh on a nightly basis here in Miami. And by "shots," I mean "boobies."

9:13: Stuart Scott just gave the tease: LeBron will choose next!

Wade. James. Bosh. Holy shitwaffles. Tonight could be the night every Heat fan

will finally know what it feels like to be a Yankee fan, except without the

douchey sense of entitlement.

9:15: What are the odds LeBron comes out and Mel Gibson's this

thing? "I will be going to Chicago. But you will blow me first!"

9:27: Here we go... breath held... grab somebody's hand... say your prayers.... the decision in The Decision is.........: MIAMI HEAT!!!!!

LEBRON JAMES IS COMING TO MIAMI!!!! NEW YORK MAY NOW FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT.

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