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Herald: Obama, Sentinel: Romney, New Times: Romney Lies

Now it's our turn. The Sun-Sentinel this morning endorsed Mitt Romney. Then the Miami Herald threw its support to Barack Obama.We don't endorse candidates. We are just a motley crew of renegades who like to throw darts at pictures of Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Britney Spears.But we believe Mitt...
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Now it's our turn. The Sun-Sentinel this morning endorsed Mitt Romney. Then the Miami Herald threw its support to Barack Obama.

We don't endorse candidates. We are just a motley crew of renegades who like to throw darts at pictures of Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Britney Spears.

But we believe Mitt Romney is one mediocre candidate. Like you, we have watched the months of campaigning and decided it is wiser to eat canned tuna than swallow all the crap that has been tossed around. We aren't very happy with a lot about Obama's first term. For instance Dodd-Frank and Obamacare are nothing more than mediocre compromises. But we know this Romney dude is the worst Republican candidate since Barry Goldwater.

Here are ten reasons why:

10. Romney is not gay friendly (shocker!).

9. Romney is a liar.

8. He is part of a religion that was founded by a convicted con artist, not long ago supported polygamy and also recently held stated that black people are black because they were cursed by God.

7. Despite his protest to the contrary, he told Detroit to go bankrupt.

6. He pissed on half of Americans.

5. He wears secret underpants

4.He's a flip-flopper who -- among a zillion other things, said he would cut rich people's taxes and then, when he needed the liberal vote, said he wouldn't.

3. He wears spray tan.

2. He believes Roe v. Wade should be overturned and has pledged to oppose abortion. (Al though he has flip-flopped on this LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE. (See 4.)

1. He has no backbone, and did we mention, he is a flip-flopper.

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