Another week has passed from this Earth, and another mysterious email announcing a Dolphins news conference featuring a popular musician has landed in Riptide's inbox.
First came Jimmy Buffett. We all know how that turned out.
Then came Gloria Estefan. Tragically, the team was not renamed the Miami Sound Machine Dolphins.
Today comes word that on Tuesday, owner Stephen Ross, NFL commish Roger Goodell, ESPN Deportes brass, and salsa superstar Marc Anthony will gather for a super-special secret media announcement.
Sadly, the conference will be held in New York City, so Riptide will be unable to attend and mock in person.
No word yet on the nature of the "major announcement." Given Stephen Ross's bizarre business decisions this summer, we should probably cross our fingers that he hasn't agreed to let Anthony become the new team mascot in exchange for a Spanish-language theme song.