We imagine an entry from a history book 1,000 years in the future will read like this:
"Though automobiles were present across the globe, few countries worshipped their cars quite like the United States. In the suburbs, Americans tended to build rooms for their cars in their homes as if they were a member of the family. Though, in urban areas residents tended to rely on public transportation, and any cars were kept in utilitarian structures or on the street. The city-state of Miami however was a notable exception.
The city's elite, enriched through the odd practice of selling housing units to people who never intended to live there, set out on building grand temples to house their cars. The world's leading architectural talents were commissioned to design ostentatious garages with no expenses spared. One of the finest is in an area once called the Design District. Five separate architects collaborated on the project to give the building five separate facades. In fact, the garage is still a popular diving location for tourists visiting the nearby floating resorts."
No, seriously, Dacra president Craig Robins tells Curbed Miami that he's commissioned five separate architects to work on a garage for his still-under-construction shopping mecca. Terrence Riley of Keenan/Riley is coordinating the efforts, and Work Architecture Company, Clavel Arquitectos, Nicolas Buffe, and Jürgen Mayer-Hermann are designing their own separate sections.
Naturally, we shouldn't have expected anything less. Robin's plans for the Design District require a garage, and it obviously wasn't going to be some boxy, ugly thing.
But it's not just the outside that's fancy. According to exMiami, the inside of the garage calls for "a tube slide, contemplation garden, graffiti wall, pillow tank, water reservoir, car wash, climbing net, DJ space, auditorium, and temporal inflatable beach." No, we have no idea what a "pillow tank" or a "temporal inflatable beach" actually are, but it all sounds fun. Like a Chuck E. Cheese for adults.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
