Remember when Britney Spears was pop culture's ultimate Virgin Whore? She was all dolled up like a slutty school girl. And then a few years later, Brit was writhing sexily with snakes and shit, while simultaneously trying to sell herself as a chaste Christian role model for young girls. And do you remember where that got us?
Well, these days, Justin Bieber is the pop star on 24-hour crotch watch. The media obsesses over the most innocuous pecks on the cheek and artists sculpt naked statues of the tween star and his equally underage girlfriend.
Well, the Biebz's songwriting team has clearly picked up on the fascination with his blossoming sexuality. Our evidence: The lyrics to the babyface'd star's next single, "Boyfriend."
Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend"
If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go
I can take you places you ain't never been before
Baby take a chance or you'll never ever know
I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow
Swag swag swag, on you
Chillin by the fire why we eatin' fondue
I dunno about me but I know about you
So say hello to falsetto in three two
I'd like to be everything you want
Hey girl, let me talk to you
If I was your boyfriend, never let you go
Keep you on my arm girl, you'd never be alone
I can be a gentleman, anything you want
If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go, I'd never let you go
Tell me what you like yeah tell me what you don't
I could be your Buzz Lightyear fly across the globe
I don't never wanna fight yeah, you already know
I am 'ma a make you shine bright like you're laying in the snow, burr
Girlfriend, girlfriend, you could be my girlfriend
You could be my girlfriend until the --- world ends
Make you dance do a spin and a twirl and
Voice goin crazy on this hook like a whirl wind
Swaggie
I'd like to be everything you want
Hey girl, let me talk to you
If I was your boyfriend, never let you go
Keep you on my arm, girl, you'd never be alone
I can be a gentleman, anything you want
If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go, I'd never let you go
So give me a chance, 'cause you're all I need girl
Spend a week wit your boy I'll be calling you my girlfriend
If I was your man, I'd never leave you girl
I just want to love you, and treat you right
If I was your boyfriend, never let you go
Keep you on my arm girl you'd never be alone
I can be a gentleman, anything you want
If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go, never let you go
Na na na, na na na, na na na
Ya girl
Na na na, na na na, na na na ey
Na na na, na na na, na na na ey
Na na na, na na na, na na na ey
If I was your boyfriend
Perez Hilton was the first to point out the track's curious use of the word swag.
Specifically, Justin promises that, once your boyfriend, he is going to "swag, swag, swag on you."
Has everyone already forgotten about skeet, hip-hop's last successful interjection of lewd slang into popular lexicon? The evolution of the term swag has already been fraught with misappropriations, most notably Sean Combs naming himself Swag. But we wouldn't be surprised to hear Lil Jon and/or R. Kelly start using the term as a verb that denotes ejaculating on a ho after a long night at the club.
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