Sorry, Eminem. There's a new Mr. Just Don't Give A Fuck. And he ain't passin' out no shits neither.
Who is famous enough to have the scene on fire? But not famous enough for anyone to know who he is? Who has the balls to pretend to be the richest man in all of EDM, pulling up in a limo and signing titties as Tiësto?
It could only be one man, the "Masta Blasta" himself, Mr. Dillon Francis. He's inscrutible. He loves cats. And he's coming to Grand Central on Saturday, November 17.
Now check out his new video. Because it's ridiculous. And Skrillex had nothing to do with it.
0:00 - 0:41
Some bitch hangs up Dillon's phone, right before he says something about Drake. He's in a fancy limo, and he's getting straight fucked up on cheap wine. The bitch straightens his tie before they exit onto a red carpet leading to some rave club. A cartoon hand is all, "Omgz, the time."
0:42 - 1:07
YES DROP. Everyone is stoked to see this person, but they have no idea who it is. The whore is pretty annoyed. Everyone is taking pictures and trying to touch him. There is some giant money with a cat face on it. Some dumb white girl is in an Indian head dress, of course. A little person attacks the man of the hour.
1:08 - 1:34
Dillon decides he doesn't want to go in the club after all. He would rather pee on the wall, in front of all these screaming confused people. The bouncer informs us that his penis is very tiny. The music sounds like a horse dying. The limo driver is like, "Omgz, what teh fux is dis? I better get paid, damn it."
1:35 - 2:09
MOAR DROP. Dillon tries to write his name in pee or something. He poses for pics with all these losers. He smokes mad Cali buds with the little guy. He signs a dumb girl's boobies as Tiësto. His whore is getting really bored, because she needs more coke and dick in her life.
2:10 - 3:05
He finally takes his whore's hand and goes inside. He is straight crushin' it and killin' it at the same time. He makes the sex with the decks and he's overly-excited about his set. His bitch is like, "Whateverrr." He jumps up and down, throws his hands around, and tosses a bunch of confetti in the air. Turns out, no one's in the club, except for one ornery drunk old lady who really wants to hear some mo'fuckin' Avicii. His bitch's night is ruined.
3:06 - 3:31
Credits are stupid. No one cares. People wait to eat hot dogs. They're like, "Who da fux was dat?" This dumb girl is like, "Idk, long hair/don't care. Tiestbro." Skrillex had nothing to do with this video.
Dillon Francis Wet and Reckless Tour. Saturday, November 17, 2012. Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Call 305-377-2277 or visit grandcentralmiami.com.
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