Best Ice-Cream Parlor 2009 | Wall's Old Fashioned Ice Cream | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Miami | Miami New Times
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I scream! You scream? Ice cream has gone through quite a bit over the years. It's been freeze-dried for astronauts into tiny icy dots that stick to your tongue. And it's been muddled with cumbersome toppings while being reduced to mush on a chilly mass-produced stone. Here at New Times, we say nay to dessert torture and yea to Wall's Old Fashioned Ice Cream, where traditional flavors such as cookies 'n' cream and bright green and nutty pistachio are all churned to tantalizing perfection. And speaking of enticing: Their mamey flavor has been known to taste a little like sushi, and one spoonful of cinnamon ice cream feels like you're shoveling an entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch into your mouth. Get a scoop (a small costs $2.99) or two in one of their waffle cones — preferably the one dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with Nerds candy — and take a seat at one of the red umbrella-adorned outdoor tables. There you can watch an episode of I Love Lucy on the boob tube, mounted into the exterior wall of the shop and surrounded by painted muscle cars to give the illusion of a tiny drive-in movie screen. Or if you arrive on a Saturday night, enjoy a DJ styling oldies in the gravel parking lot. And we promise there won't be any acoustic covers of "Happy Birthday," "Rock-a-Bye Baby," or any other obnoxious ice-cream truck jingles.

It's 2 p.m. Thursday, and the ruggedly handsome and perpetually silent guy stands before the spread of 31 flavors of gelato. He's in awe. Tasting each variation with his eyes, he knows the choice he's about to make is very important. Does he want a cup full of the heady rum essence that wafts from the buttery zuppa inglese? Or is the icy, spicy nature of the strawberry-black pepper tucked into a cone better for this midday treat? He already knows the violet chocolate chip is a springtime surprise of light flavor and classic cocoa bean. And he can still taste the puffs of cinnamon from last week's choice — "mamma mia apple pie" — so something savory seems the best way to go. Will it be the local fave — Mediterranean sea salt — or black pepper and olive oil? Or perhaps sweet is the way to go, he thinks. As Brahms plays in the background, he flips a coin to choose between the lovely orange saffron and über-rich crème brûlée. He plays rock-paper-scissors with himself to decide whether today's flavor should be a traditional one: amaretto black cherry swirl or pistachio.

The pastel gelati begin to swirl before his eyes.

He thrusts a finger up against the glass.

And walks out of Paciugo with a single scoop of vanilla.

Someone should have told him $5.89 would have bought him a cup overflowing with five decadent flavors of his choice.

Photo courtesy of Joe's Stone Crab Restaurant

"Go to the Keys if you want good key lime pie" is the most common answer for those who crave this sweet-and-tart dessert. But in our own back yard, Joe's Stone Crab's rendition will take you to the Keys in a single bite. A slice will set you back $6.95 plus tax, or pay $27 for a whole large pie. For those looking to re-create the experience at home, Joe's has finally given in and published its once heavily guarded recipe online at joesstonecrab.com.

How do you translate "This coffee is far better than any rocket fuel NASA ever invented" to español? Betcha one of the friendly female baristas at La Nueva Alameda Cafeteria could teach you. For less than a franchise drip coffee — only $1 — she'll customize a not-too-frothy, just-sweet-enough eight-ounce café con leche with your personal sugar-espresso-milk ratio preference. Watch her pour it: The crema is honey-colored and the milk is steamed slower than grandma's hot chocolate. At this Allapattah joint, you won't hear a single sentence in English — especially not over the Latin dance music booming on the jukebox. Old guys with rough hands flirt with young Latina waitresses. Regulars greet each other with cheek kisses at the to-go window. And nobody wears those awful green aprons. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. seven days a week .

In a city swamped with antiseptically lit cafeterias and overcrowded cafecito counters, it's a luxury to find both the ambiance and space where you can lounge comfortably while feeding your caffeine habit. For that reason, the discovery of a quaint European-style café such as Ankarr should be considered nothing less than a major coup for the serious java drinker. With its cream-tiled Italian villa interior and trompe l'oeil scenic wall paintings, this rustic coffeehouse is the perfect place to restart your energy-sapped derriere. Just take a seat — inside or out — and start with the following five-dollar combo: one square of homemade tiramisu and a double shot of rich, revivifying espresso. Or if you prefer the milky stuff, go for a tall mug of smooth cappuccino that's topped with a mound of nutmeg-dusted whipped cream. There's even wine and a selection of signature sandwiches — chicken, prosciutto, and Spanish sausage — for those times when the need for something savory takes over. But whatever your choice, be sure to visit early. Ankarr caters mostly to retirees and daytime workers, closing no later than 7 p.m. during the week.

More than two dozen local restaurants didn't live to see 2009 — a high body count, for sure. Two of the losses that sting most are those of Mark's South Beach and Sheba Ethiopian. Larry LaValley was a longtime executive chef at the former, but it was the brilliant culinary combinations of namesake chef Mark Militello that garnered the acclaim (to wit: pan-seared arctic char over English pea with farro risotto and beurre rouge). Militello, after all, is a James Beard Award winner and earned a place on the top tier of South Florida chefs via his celebrated Las Olas, Mizner Park, City Place, and South Beach properties — all of which bit the dust during the past 12 months. We will miss Sheba too — it was one of very few Ethiopian restaurants, perhaps the sole outlet for doro wat (chicken legs and thighs in berbere sauce), kifto (spicy tenderloin tartar), and kik alicha (yellow split peas with green peppers and herbs). Plus it was cool to scoop up the food with that sour, spongy injera bread. Now the good news: Nearby Kafa Café filled the void and is serving Ethiopian fare. Sheba will soon rise from the ashes and debut up in Hollywood. And chef Militello is helming 1 Bleu Restaurant in the Regent Bal Harbour.

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Best Of Miami®