Sit down a minute, girlfriend. We gotta tell you something, and it ain't gonna be pretty. It's about your eyebrows. Honey, your shit is all jacked up! Look at the one on the left; you've plucked it all to hell. Looks like Whoopi Goldberg on one side. And the right one, mmm mmm mmm. That chick at the tacky wax place got you good. She gave you that Vanilla Ice stripe. All right, stop and listen — we're gonna get you to The Brow Shoppe, stat! The name says it all. Fifteen minutes with store owner Laura starts at $40! Tania costs $35, and she is too fly with her leopard-print tweezers. Yeah, it's more expensive than eight bucks in the storage room in the back of the mall nail salon, but they are worth it. Trust. They will thread, tweeze, and shape your eyebrows back into arches. And for the overplucked side, they have Renewabrow and Revitalash for sale — along with enough brow powder to tide you over between visits. And if you feel adventuresome, they can give your stick-straight lashes a perm. Okay, okay — baby steps. Let's make you an online appointment right quick; they're efficient like that. We'll have you looking fierce in no time!

This funky shop hidden in a gritty strip of tired Little Havana storefronts is clogged with boxes and boxes of ladies pumps, sandals, and shoes for every occasion. They come in every size and imaginable color for $5 a pair. That's right for the price of your Jimmy Choo's, you can style a new pair of Niebla's originals every day for the next three months and, best of all, the sales clerk still pronounces each pair: "Choos."

Ever had the sudden urge to get a giant scorpion inked onto your thigh while eating some Jamaican delights? Of course you have! Who hasn't? That's why we suggest checking out U.S. 1 Discount Mall, an air-conditioned flea market in Cutler Bay with more than 200 vendors ready to satisfy each and every one of your completely normal impulses — such as that deeply rooted human desire to set off metal detectors at MIA. This market has JL's Luggage & Handbags and a variety of jewelry booths ready to pierce (almost) any inch of your flesh. Planning a party? There's a dollar store! Vendors such as Duke Tailors, Bronco Wireless, and Fish-n-Things restaurant have got you covered — particularly if you want to get a pair of pants shortened while chatting on your cell phone and munching fried aquatic wonderfulness.

So you want to strap up. It is your God-given right to bear arms even though gun deity Charlton Heston is gone. And this is Florida, where an armed Moses and his guerrilla band carried concealed weapons and used them in self-defense against Pharaoh. Well, when it comes to selling you a gun and showing you how to use it, the firearm experts at Florida Gun Center are a veritable burning bush. They'll turn you into a phenomenally precise shooting machine. Open since 1985 (A.D., dummy), this Hialeah gun shop offers concealed weapons permit, home firearm safety, personal protection, and basic firearm training classes. They have Glocks, Berettas, SIG Sauers, Kimbers, and Smith & Wessons in every caliber, shape, and size imaginable. Florida Gun Center even stocks custom jobs such as a sweet stainless-steel Colt .45 with a wood grip and a Smith & Wesson 460V, a six-shot revolver that makes the .357 Magnum look like a pea shooter. They sell AR-15s, 12-gauge shotguns, and Winchester rifles too. If your weapon of choice is not in stock, the store's goateed manager Rob or one of his sales associates will special-order it for you. Located in a warehouse space just east of the Okeechobee Road exit of the Palmetto Expressway, Florida Gun also has an indoor firing range. If you don't have your own gun, you can rent a pistol for practice. Thank God!

This ain't your old man's stogy shop. In days of yore, when bearded wizards graced the sides of Chevy vans, a head shop such as this one would have had black-light posters, mushroom ashtrays, and tie-dye shirts. Today it's Marley banners, Rastaman incense holders, and urban street wear that greet you when you slip in through the back door. (You're not being sneaky — that's where the parking lot is.) Once you get past the temporal distortions, you'll find the same accessories your dad might have needed for a wicked concert at the Hollywood Sportatorium. There's a vast assortment of rolling papers and other smoking accouterments laid out next to the blunts and bidis. Don't forget to pick up a detox potion or those necessary feng shui items. And there's a pizza joint next door if you just happen to get the munchies.

You are not going to find mainstream brands such as Phat Farm and Zoo York at this underground hipster store on the outer fringe of Miami's Design District. No way, son. You will only turn up labels like Crooks & Castles, 10 Deep, Kidrobot, and the Hundreds, ones only true backpackers and skate punks know how to rock. "We've got brands you would only find in Los Angeles, New York, Paris, or Tokyo," says owner Chris Oh. "Once a brand starts getting to the department stores, we stop carrying it." The 26-year-old South Broward native opened Culture Kings in 2006 after spending the early part of his adulthood as a financial advisor. After making a considerable amount of cheese and a couple of real estate flips (before the market crashed), Oh decided it was time for a new, more fulfilling venture — one that tapped into his childhood days as a graffiti artist. In addition to dope T-shirts, hoodies, and jeans, Culture Kings stocks limited editions of Nike and Jordan sneakers. But save your pennies. These kicks will cost you between $250 to $450. The boutique has already caught the attention of hip-hop's glitterati. Pharrell Williams, Fat Joe, and Lil Wayne are customers, as are local artists Brisco, Piccolo, and R&B band Pretty Ricky.

Hobby shops are a rare sight here in Miami. Perhaps it's because most locals aren't really into hobbies. (Drinking and clubbing are not hobbies, although some certainly define them that way.) Or it could be because it takes a special kind of patience to glue together all of those tiny plastic parts. Whatever the case may be, Felix caters to folks who find the art of precisely detailing a perfect scale model of a pirate ship, pirates included, to be a fulfilling experience. The place has an on-site mechanic to repair gas-powered hobby cars. Among our favorite products are the Estes rockets, which range from wee ones that cost just a few dollars to monsters that go for big bucks. All the engines and paraphernalia are here too. The store is open seven days a week (Monday through Friday noon to 6 p.m., Saturday 10:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Sunday noon to 5 p.m.), but don't show up before noon unless it's Saturday. Most hobbyists aren't morning people.

Internet cafés take the solitary act of working or gaming on a computer and transport it to a social setting. It's not precisely like hanging at a cool SoBe club, but at least when you look around, you see other live human beings. Cybr Caffe is a budding local chain of Internet cafés that hopes to persuade you that these places are nothing more than a coffeehouse with a wireless connection. Custom-built computers line the tables in the small store space in the Lotus Plaza on Biscayne Boulevard, and although there are pastries, coffee, and juices for sale, it is clear the edibles are not the focus of the small establishment. One hour on these beauties costs $6; two go for $8 (prices differ at locations.) There are no restrictions on the sites you visit; however, the fact that other people are around will likely stop you from surfing those websites. Gamers and businesspeople alike commune at the café, which leaves you feeling like there is still a spirit of camaraderie in the world. But then, when you leave, you might hear someone yelling at a driver for going too slow, too fast, or not going at all.

Looking for a certain trendy Japanese toy? Hungering for the latest installment of grotesquely cute anime gore? Then keep flipping — because Japanese Market is all about food, and the real stuff at that. Tiny it is, but filled with goodies. An easy dozen of canned curry pastes inhabit one shelf, right below a diverse crop of fish sauces, dried shrimp seasonings, and things made mostly of fermented soybean. For those seeking a quick fix, there are plenty of exciting Japanese munchies to try, from wasabi peas to ... well, we're not sure what they were, but they looked good. Frozen tuna, pickled ginger, shrimp tempura, and a hundred other tasties line the fridges; one is given entirely over to sake, of which the little shop boasts an impressive collection. There are also sake sets, as well as fancy chopsticks, sushi tools, and — for those missing the homeland — a few Japanese newspapers for sale. If you get hungry while you're there, take a seat at the shop's small sushi bar, where you'll discover tasty and very reasonably priced plates — eight bucks, and you've had one terrific lunch.

It's all about cute shoes and customer service at this Kendall-mom, window-shopping favorite. It's best to look first and then bring in your little rugrat — feet can grow by the hour, and employees here take the time to measure and analyze their teeny customers. The people at Sesame Step make recommendations based on your specific needs, rather than price and profit. This isn't some overpriced joint where they're just trying to make a buck, prices for a pair of chic, perfect-for-dress-up gold flats start around $28. And the highest price you'll pay is $70 for an adorable, unique sandal.