Those who aren't scooter people have a difficult time trying to fathom how anyone can get on one of those things and traverse the Hummer-clogged streets of the Beach. But some people dig that squealing buzz, feeling the wind in their hair, and savoring the druglike effects of the blurring neon lights in their peripheral vision. If you're ready to hop on, call up South Beach Scooters and they'll ease you into it with a free lesson and friendly encouragement. Rentals range in price from $15 to $50 an hour with unlimited mileage, and brands include Peugeot, Daelim, MZ, TGB, Binetto, Mondial, and Adly. Still not feeling the scooter-dude in you? Maybe a Segway or one of those electric fun cars would be more your speed. The friendly staff will even pick you up and bring you back to the shop if you get, well, Hummered.

If money were no object, you'd be sipping bourbon on the back of your private yacht right now. Seeing as that hazy fantasy probably won't calm your ocean-going ganas, get a few friends together and split the cost of renting a craft at Beach Boat Rentals. Few powerboat rental places come close to Beach Boat's prices, and those that do usually bump up their prices for weekends and restrict your cruising range. At Beach, you have your choice of eight boats -- all with current-model-year, four-stroke outboards, according to owner Anthony Marzilli -- from a 22-footer with room for five to more expansive 24-footers with front deck seating. Prices for a two-hour rental range from $130 to $220, while four hours on the water will set you back $200 or more. Inquire about specials on half- and full-day rentals, tours, and charters. Gas and taxes are extra, and no deposit is required. Beach Boat Rentals is open from 9:30 a.m. to sunset every day.

One of the great things about big-city living Miami style is the ease of escape. When traffic jams and noisy people give us woe, we can board an eighteen-foot sloop, unfurl the main sail, and catch a ten-knot breeze. Once we're safely offshore, the wind powering us across Biscayne Bay, we can pour a few mimosas and enjoy a spectacular sunset. All is better. Miami, home of the U.S. Sailing Team training center, is a sailor's paradise. Problem is: We're not rich. We don't own a boat nor do we have maritime friends. So we go down to Matheson Hammock. The good folks at the Castle Harbor Sailing School have a dock filled with rentals. They're priced reasonably -- $50 an hour (if you take the Harbor 20s) or $60 for the Santana 22s. And if you want to go out with a large group -- charter a big boat -- the 35-foot Gone with the Wind can be yours for $400 a day. The Harbor 20s are specially equipped for quick rigging and novice sailors. Also, if we're a little concerned about our skills, we can take a freshen-up lesson at the Castle Harbor school, which is stocked with racing veterans.