Drive down Miracle Mile and you'll begin to notice a subtle pattern. There's David's Bridal (39 Miracle Mile), Bridal City (326 Miracle Mile), and Coral Gables Bridal (141 Miracle Mile). There's Chic Parisien (118 Miracle Mile) -- specializing in, yes, bridal. Miracle Mile really should be renamed the Get Hitched Three-Quarter; all told, there are close to ten shops specializing in wares for the big day -- or days, if you're a multiple mater. (Plus the jewelry stories specializing in engagement rings.) So if you're about to tie the knot for the first, second, or fourth time and you need to bedeck bridesmaids or find a frock for a flower girl, there is no better place in Miami-Dade, or possibly the planet, than the Gables. And best yet, when all of your sartorial needs are met, you can take care of the icing on the cake, literally. Head to the Wedding Cake Gallery, conveniently located at 30 Miracle Mile.

The mind says Marc Jacobs sun dress, and the wallet says Target sweatpants. Mom called it "Champagne taste on a beer budget," but only those who have the malady know just how much it sucks. The afflicted are a persistent bunch, however. They will have their pretty clothes, and they will have them cheaply. Maruchi may not have chandeliers or a pianist on Saturdays, but brands like BCBG, DKNY, Juicy Couture, Esprit, and more can be found at reasonable prices. Name-brand jeans and bikinis for $30, dresses and shoes sometimes 60 percent cheaper than they should be. Maruchi is the mecca.

If you thought discreetly buying condoms was hard (no pun intended), try the checkout with a twelve-inch, double-ended, glow-in-the-dark dildo. Now that takes balls. All joking aside, we understand this sex-toy-buying business can be somewhat nerve-racking, which is why Déjá Vu Love Boutique gets our vote. Yes, the shop stocks the more traditional items such as Kamasutra lotions, candles, and skimpy lingerie, as well as toys from the Phallix collection, porn-star approved gadgets, and lower-price devices that keep your pocket (and other parts) happy. But it's the reassuring notion that a dirty old man is unlikely lurking in a corner of this well-lit shop that makes it a fave among the female clientele. In addition, rest assured that prices are competitive and shelves always well stocked with the latest, greatest, fastest, and strongest devices around. What's more, the staff is always friendly, unobtrusive, and polite. And they've got you covered if you fear even entering the store; this is 2006, so you can simply order your private products online.

When it comes to tattoos, there are two kinds of people: the mousy and the masochistic. The former usually squirm with fear and nausea when they hear the low hum of the ink gun as it nears their flesh. On the opposite end of the tolerance spectrum are the pain enthusiasts who seem almost elevated with euphoria as the needle pierces their skin a hundred times a second. The approach to being tattooed isn't the only point of contention among body-art fans. Quality and taste are often sensitive topics. Just the mention of South Beach and tattoos in the same sentence elicits eye-rolls from some elitists as they conjure up images of butterflies and tribal patterns. But there is one sanctuary where the two words don't produce a cringe from aficionados. Whether you have a sleeve or virgin skin, barb-wire biceps or sparrow-adorned hips, South Beach Tattoo Company can give you quality work. Ken Cameron and his inked buddies have an impressive repertoire that includes portraits and traditional, new-school, and Japanese styles. From Mark Ryden's Rose painting to decapitated Frankenstein's monster heads to fiery dragons, all works include vibrant colors, exact lines, and quality workmanship. First-timers need not worry about condescending retorts to their naive questions: The staff at South Beach Tattoo Company is not only talented but also pretty nice.

Take a deep breath. Slowly let it out. Crunch! Oh, yes. The thrill of the pierce -- that pain followed by an exhilarating endorphin rush -- is as exciting as the sparkly new ornament now dangling from your body. While most piercing places are really tattoo shops with a sideline, at New Age you don't have to hear that annoying buzz while you're waiting to add a little bling to your nostril, belly button, or tongue -- the most common piercings Luis has seen at the shop he's been poking around the past five years. "But people are starting to get more into cartilage," he adds. The shop was remodeled a few years ago, and it now glistens with glass cabinets and a counter filled with shiny, shiny rings and barbells. The soothing green color scheme is classy, and the tile floors are clean. "It's a little more inviting and clinical," says Luis. There's a sofa and television for chillin', and a case of scary medical tools to peruse while you're trying to keep your mind off that big needle that will soon be going through your tragus. But don't worry -- Luis has a gentle touch, and he's the sweetest and most charming piercer we've ever met. Tempted but not sure what you want to get done? The Website has photos that show almost everything -- including graphic images of impaled genitalia. Basic piercing ranges from $45 to $55, including starter jewelry and detailed care instructions. Luis will remind you to come back to have your piercing checked a few times. He cares about the hole he's put in your body.

Sebastian lounges on the plush floral sofa, while Peaches prefers the cool tile floor. Samantha perches in the wicker love seat; and as she turns her head, her Swarovski crystal and pearl necklace sparkles in the soft lamp light. For Chloe, lounging on the chaise is fine for now. But should any of the girls feel a little lonely, there is always a Lap Nanny nearby, ready to offer up TLC by scratching itchy lobes or rubbing biscuit-filled, burbling bellies. Welcome to Salon Poochini, a grooming spa, cage-free daycare, and hotel for pampered pooches. Much like their furry brethren who frequent other grooming shops, canine visitors to this place are familiar with the whirl of the clippers and the feel of shampoo on their wet fur. And much like their nonfurry owners who visit fancy groomers, customers here find high-end prices: A bath starts at $25, a haircut at $45, and an overnight stay at the hotel, including "daycare, meals, brushing, hugs, and kisses," starts at $55. Here purebreds and mutts alike enjoy extras such as the run of the shabby chic hotel, rhinestone barrettes, and the option of watching three huge flat-screen televisions. Of course all three TVs are set to one station: Animal Planet.

Your Yorkie is making lots of mistakes. Your dachshund is a runaway risk. And Sparky refuses to sit pretty. You can take care of these out-of-control hounds by contacting the K9 experts at the Miami Obedience Club. For the past twenty years, they've been teaching Miamians how to teach their dogs. This is no joke, no two-hour seminar. It starts with an intensive eight-week course -- you'll begin by learning the basics, such as simply how to get your dog's attention, but you'll soon progress to more complex tasks, like lying down, and staying. The Miami Obedience Club has a Montessori-like approach. It's all positive. Dogs are rewarded only for proper behavior; they're never punished. The school, which meets every Monday night, has swift-moving, hour-long classes, but it always includes homework. And if your pooch has potential, you can take more advanced classes. Three levels are offered at 80 bucks a class. This is the place to get your dog on the track to "best in show."

Owner Joann Gaetan has more than fifteen years of experience, and her enthusiasm for animals shows. She and her staff can spruce up even the frizziest of pets. Your Labrador can get a short hairstyle that will make him look like a shiny new pup. Your Yorkie will break loose of all those tangles and be left with glossy, mat-free locks. Full grooming ranges from $30 to $70 and up. Hours are Tuesday through Friday 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., Saturday 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

Sure. Maybe lots of vets can cure an iguana. But can they do a duck, a fish, and a rabbit along with the lizard all in one day? Exotic animal veterinarian Marc Kramer can. Dr. Kramer graduated from Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine in 1999, and joined the staff of the Avian & Exotic Animal Medical Center in 2000. Soon he built a large and diverse client list. Exotic vets "are a rare breed around here," Dr. Kramer points out. "There aren't too many who want to work with anything other than dogs and cats...." Dr. Kramer didn't find his animal calling until he was in college. "I didn't come to that realization until my last year of college. I wanted to be a biologist. I always really loved animals; I knew I wanted to work with animals.... I got to work on a lot of field projects in different states and countries ... and I worked on wild animals." Some examples of the exotics he's treated include "unusual primates, like lemurs, bush babies, and other monkeys; porcupines; skunks; and anteaters," but he wonders why someone would want an animal -- like an anteater -- that has such a specific diet. "You have to make this insect gruel for them.... A lot of problems we see are people not feeding the exotic animals right and not keeping them in the right environment." But it is that variety in the job that keeps it exciting for the handsome young doctor. "Coming to work every day is a new challenge. I'm still seeing different animals, which keeps it fresh; we're pioneers." He recently performed surgery on a Siamese fighting fish and a water frog. "You have to put a special anesthesia in the water, and then take it out of the water to operate, while dripping the anesthetic water on its skin." Such a challenging career does keep him busy. "I don't have a normal, easy schedule. I'm on call after-hours," he says. That means he puts in plenty of nights and weekends. So what does he do with his little free time? "I like to get outdoors as much as I can, canoeing and kayaking around Key Biscayne and the Everglades, and I take salsa classes a few nights a week. I've been dancing for about two years." While you would think that a vet would have a menagerie of pets around the house, Dr. Kramer prefers to keep it simple. "I just have cats and turtles now. I enjoy everyone else's pets.... I don't want to have to come home and clean up a zoo." He also spends a lot of time on his computer, moderating a discussion group for exotic vets, and he writes for veterinary magazines and does presentations at conferences. "It's important to share the knowledge since this is such a small field.... There's a growing interest in vets going into exotics since there is such a demand for it."

"Would you like some popcorn?" asks the attendant, with a Cheesecake Factory-like smile. Then there are the free bagels, the full-service espresso bar, the comfy couches, the flat-screen TV sets, the periodicals. This is not a beauty salon or a Starbucks. It is simply the waiting room of The Car Wash. And that's not the best part; there's also the Fifties-era music, the cheery staff, the fact that as you're sipping a latte and reading In Style, your Ferrari is getting soaped, scrubbed, buffed, and polished by a whirlwind of man and robot. And the prices are fair: The entry-level Daily Wash is $9.95 (interior, exterior, window-cleaning -- pretty friggin' clean). The Works Wash goes for $19.95. Not only do the folks at The Car Wash do a fabulous job, but they also do it quickly. During our latest test, the dirty Pontiac became a spotless, pretty-smelling car in roughly fifteen minutes. But hey, The Car Wash's waiting room is so pleasant you actually feel like telling them to take their time.