1. Keystone Plaza at 135th Street for Starbucks, Jamba Juice, Ben & Jerry's, Chicken Kitchen, or Einstein Bros., because you'll need the fuel.
2. On My Own clothing boutique at 180th Street for unique (albeit pricey) finds, like colorful embroidered tunics from India.
3. Pier 1 Imports at 186th Street for decorating inspiration. (It's hip and affordable.)
4. Loehmann's at 187th Street for top-of-the-line designer duds at rock-bottom prices. Barnes & Noble for a snack and for posing as an intellectual.
5. Bed Bath & Beyond at 192nd Street for bathroom accessories (because, admit it, your bath towels are downright ratty!). DSW Shoe Warehouse for inexpensive shoes and Old Navy for casual basics.
6. Circuit City at 206th Street for your partner, who's been so patient. The Birkenstock shop, Michael's craft store, and Marshall's, for yourself. (Prowl the discount racks and explore the improved home furnishings and accessories section in the back.)
7. And finally: the bar at Chili's at 199th Street for an El Niño Margarita, because a stiff drink is the only proper way to end a day of consumer frenzy.
See? Urban sprawl ain't so bad after all.