BEST HERO 2004 | Russ Rector | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Miami | Miami New Times
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BEST HERO

Russ Rector

Hell hath no fury like a reformed dolphin trainer. Anyone who has dealt with Russ Rector knows that all too well. From 1968 to 1975 he worked and performed with the creatures at Fort Lauderdale's Ocean World. Today he is president of the Dolphin Freedom Foundation, which he founded in 1992 as a platform from which he could launch relentless attacks against those who do what he once did: hold dolphins captive, or otherwise endanger them. In 1990 he clung to a buoy off the Dry Tortugas to disrupt a U.S. Navy test of underwater explosives he believed could harm the area's wild dolphins. In 1993 he and other activists made a very public stink when Aruba proposed to build a tourist swim-with-the-dolphins facility. In 1994 he was arrested for trespassing at North Key Largo's private Ocean Reef Club, where he was denied access to check on the welfare of three captive dolphins held by the club. In July 1995 he set his sights on the aging Miami Seaquarium, which keeps dolphins and a killer whale named Lolita. Acting on a tip from employees, he videotaped what appeared to be serious structural problems with the main performing stadium. His protests to county, state, and federal agencies went nowhere. For several years in the mid-Nineties he noisily argued that Lolita's holding tank was too small, again to no avail. But last year the 55-year-old sea-mammal advocate connected. Brandishing another videotape and a safety expert's report, commissioned by his foundation, Rector documented scores of electrical code violations at the Seaquarium. This time Miami-Dade County officials responded, slapping the attraction with nearly 140 violations. Cost for repairs: roughly a half-million dollars. Last month he was at it again. A new report by the safety expert alleged more violations, including inadequate emergency exits for Seaquarium visitors. Is he obsessed? Yes. Is he overbearing? Yes. Is he a hero? Certainly not to Arthur Hertz, CEO of Coral Gables-based Wometco, which owns and operates the Seaquarium. But to many other people, here and elsewhere, the answer is yes. He's a hero.

BEST HOMELESS HANGOUT

South Beach lifeguard towers

Original designs by internationally acclaimed artist Antoni Miralda, world-famous architect William Lane, renowned Pop artist Kenny Scharf. Split-level, wrap-around decks. Beachfront water views, good security, quiet at night. Walk to Wet Willy's, Mac's Club Deuce, dumpsters full of fresh restaurant leftovers. Among the most livable, colorful, whimsical shelters on the planet. $0/month. For more information call the City of Miami Beach's Office of Homeless Coordination at 305-604-4663, Miami-Dade County's Homeless Assistance Program at 305-636-6368, or the trilingual (English, Spanish, Kreyol) homeless helpline at 877-994-HELP.

BEST HOMELESS HANGOUT

South Beach lifeguard towers

Original designs by internationally acclaimed artist Antoni Miralda, world-famous architect William Lane, renowned Pop artist Kenny Scharf. Split-level, wrap-around decks. Beachfront water views, good security, quiet at night. Walk to Wet Willy's, Mac's Club Deuce, dumpsters full of fresh restaurant leftovers. Among the most livable, colorful, whimsical shelters on the planet. $0/month. For more information call the City of Miami Beach's Office of Homeless Coordination at 305-604-4663, Miami-Dade County's Homeless Assistance Program at 305-636-6368, or the trilingual (English, Spanish, Kreyol) homeless helpline at 877-994-HELP.

BEST LEISURE ACTIVITY OTHER THAN CLUBS OR MOVIES

Surfing South Beach

For the first time since the Sixties, and maybe ever, there's a thriving surfing community in South Beach. On most winter mornings, up to 400 rowdy surfers litter the ocean, straddling variations of long and short boards. No, our beaches haven't suddenly developed the kind of overhead breaks enjoyed by surfers on the West Coast, or even north of Palm Beach where Atlantic swells make it to shore without being intercepted by reefs and islands. But a growing number of local wavers have discovered that from fall through the beginning of spring, when South Beach receives consistent doses of swells, barreling peaks accompany the incoming tides, big enough for carving. The best known local surfer, Ron Keindl, a former lifeguard, often helps keep order, separating "kooks" from the more experienced riders who might slam into them. "Don't go down there thinking you're going to be the man," he cautions. There are rules, he adds, and "a definite pecking order."

BEST BOONDOGGLE

Miami Circle

If shelling out 26.7 million taxpayer dollars to buy the tiny spit of land on which the Miami Circle sits doesn't quite qualify as a boondoggle, maybe this does: The ancient site has been reburied. Discovered in 1998 and dubbed Miami's Stonehenge, the mysterious Indian artifact ignited the public imagination and attracted international attention. Six years after its purchase, however, an alphabet-soup of local, state, and federal agencies has accomplished virtually nothing. Experts warned that the exposed Circle was being threatened by erosion, so last fall it was quietly covered with gravel, sand, and promises that a few more years of paperwork would result in the park everyone was promised. Hey, the site lay there unnoticed for at least 1000 years, so what's the rush, right?

BEST BOONDOGGLE

Miami Circle

If shelling out 26.7 million taxpayer dollars to buy the tiny spit of land on which the Miami Circle sits doesn't quite qualify as a boondoggle, maybe this does: The ancient site has been reburied. Discovered in 1998 and dubbed Miami's Stonehenge, the mysterious Indian artifact ignited the public imagination and attracted international attention. Six years after its purchase, however, an alphabet-soup of local, state, and federal agencies has accomplished virtually nothing. Experts warned that the exposed Circle was being threatened by erosion, so last fall it was quietly covered with gravel, sand, and promises that a few more years of paperwork would result in the park everyone was promised. Hey, the site lay there unnoticed for at least 1000 years, so what's the rush, right?

BEST NEW ADVERTISING TREND

Hongosan and Hongomex

Tucked between the disorderly conducts on various afternoon Spanish-language courtroom programs, Telemundo has been airing a remarkable set of antifungal medication advertisements. Yes, remarkable antifungal medication advertisements. The first one, for Hongosan (hongo is Spanish for fungus or mushroom), ran a few months ago. The subtle charms were difficult to discern at first, but slowly one could feel the pain of the man-on-the-street who suffered from "un mal olor, una picazón excesiva." Certainly the plaintive cries of the pretty spokeswoman begging the viewer to no longer suffer the torment of hongos demanded further attention. Oh yeah, there's also an angry battalion of mushrooms and a cartoon superhero in red tights in the spot. Then Hongomex began running antifungal medication ads. A Mexican cartoon character suffers from hongos all over the place. His hongos resemble Scrubbing Bubbles. They grow even angrier than the aforementioned mushrooms. As the fungus fighters compete, viewers are treated to an infectiously catchy song and a fiesta during which a cured man dances with and leers at a tall redhead. Freedom from fungus turns into sexist stereotyping. Where's the cure for that?

BEST CITIZEN

Mario Artecona

On a recent afternoon, a Miami-Dade County bureaucrat spotted Mario Artecona having lunch and said, "Well, if it isn't the revolutionary." Artecona responded with a chuckle: "That's what people start calling you when you take on the county commission." Not many ordinary citizens would have the opportunity (or the guts) to appear before the thirteen commissioners who lord over county government and tell them they are doing a piss-poor job of managing the area's primary economic engine, Miami International Airport. Artecona did just that. For years MIA has been the fiefdom of commissioners and their lobbyists, who've gorged themselves on fat airport contracts. The resulting business climate has become so noxious that even a company like Disney can't get in without knowing a friend of a friend of a commissioner. Earlier this year, when the commission refused to let voters decide whether to create an independent airport authority that would oversee MIA, Artecona, executive director of the Miami Business Forum, threw down the gauntlet: He vowed to circumvent the politicians and launch a petition drive that would place the issue on this November's ballot. That made him Public Enemy #1 in the eyes of the county commission. In our eyes, it made him Miami-Dade's best citizen.

BEST CITIZEN

Mario Artecona

On a recent afternoon, a Miami-Dade County bureaucrat spotted Mario Artecona having lunch and said, "Well, if it isn't the revolutionary." Artecona responded with a chuckle: "That's what people start calling you when you take on the county commission." Not many ordinary citizens would have the opportunity (or the guts) to appear before the thirteen commissioners who lord over county government and tell them they are doing a piss-poor job of managing the area's primary economic engine, Miami International Airport. Artecona did just that. For years MIA has been the fiefdom of commissioners and their lobbyists, who've gorged themselves on fat airport contracts. The resulting business climate has become so noxious that even a company like Disney can't get in without knowing a friend of a friend of a commissioner. Earlier this year, when the commission refused to let voters decide whether to create an independent airport authority that would oversee MIA, Artecona, executive director of the Miami Business Forum, threw down the gauntlet: He vowed to circumvent the politicians and launch a petition drive that would place the issue on this November's ballot. That made him Public Enemy #1 in the eyes of the county commission. In our eyes, it made him Miami-Dade's best citizen.

BEST PLACE TO GO STONED

The Neighborhood Fish Farm

You and your pals just completed your own version of Amsterdam's famous Cannabis Cup reefer contest by filling up bong bowls with White Widow and Northern Lights and maybe some Haze. Packing a couple of green leaf, Dutch Master blunts filled with Afghani. Rolling up some Summer Breeze, Bubblegum, and other hydro hybrids that leave all involved seriously stoned but lively upped thanks to North American pot's high quality. (Crappy weed tends to make you tired.) But you aren't smoking crap, and ripification has been achieved. Now what? Since 1971 Richard Bradwell has owned and operated the Neighborhood Fish Farm. Open from 10:00 to 6:00, his back yard features 137 concrete ponds filled with more than 200 species of tropical fish that wait to mesmerize red-eyed stankers like you. Fish from Africa, Indonesia, China, and Japan can be bought or fed or simply stared at for way too long. It's outdoors, it's free, there are always a couple of lawn chairs for a sit. Rock music blares. Sushi jokes are slurred. You can buy a 79-cent guppy or blow $500 on an exotic species that enjoys eating fruit monkeys and birds. You might want to ponder that sort of investment after the buzz wears off.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®

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