BEST DRAG QUEEN 2002 | Elaine Lancaster | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Miami | Miami New Times
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BEST DRAG QUEEN

Elaine Lancaster

Why Elaine? Here's one reason: At a recent Perry Ellis fashion show, this South Beach diva famous for her killer Cher impression had the unenviable task of working the crowd following the parade of beauties who had just pranced down the runway. The fashion elites, with their low tolerance for tacky, were restless. Rather than resort to the common drag conceit of outrageousness, Elaine appeared in a stylish gold evening gown, dazzling earrings, and a perfect Sixties beehive. She was classy not trashy. As she well knows, drag is more than just shock value. It's about performance and poise. Flawless in her appearance, Elaine knows there's something even more important: being the consummate hostess. That she is.

BEST LOCAL CARIBBEAN BAND

Afro-Polyphonic World Orchestra

The Caribbean, claims Cuban writer Antonio Benitez-Rojo, is a meta-archipelago: a giant sponge spiraling out from the Caribbean Sea to Europe, Africa, Asia, the Middle East, the Americas, the universe, endlessly repeating. The Caribbean, in short, is the rhythmic center of the world. And so the Afro-Polyphonic World Orchestra, an ambitious sixteen-piece multicultural mélange, is a Caribbean band in the most expansive sense -- the polyrhythmic pulse of the universe. Founded by Dominican-born Cuban-American José Elias Mateo and featuring musicians and guest composers from all points converging on and emerging from the Caribbean, the Afro-Polyphonic World Orchestra plays every deep dark beautiful sound ever heard all at once. If the inspiration is diasporic -- the scattering of peoples like seeds -- the resulting concerts are multiculturalism in full bloom.

BEST LOCAL JAZZ ARTIST

Spam Allstars

For the purist, Miami has a wealth of fine jazz musicians who know their way around an Ellington composition or conserve the stylistic touches of Dizzy, Miles, or Coltrane. Jesse Jones, Jr., Melton Mustafa, Randy Gerber, and Paquito Hechavarria are just a few of the virtuosos who keep the flame of jazz alive in the city. Enter the young Turks in the Spam Allstars, a lanky crew of polyester hipsters who brandish trombones, saxophone, and timbales (the lineup changes often). Their regular Fuácata jams at Hoy Como Ayer are held together by the vinyl rhythms of Andrew Yeomanson (DJ Le Spam). Doubtless they are a party band, but their nonstop sets of extended improvisations mix African, Latin, and electronica influences into a concoction that defies all categories. And the Spams never fail to uplift and elevate their minions. While you'll likely never hear "A Night in Tunisia" at a Spam show, you will get a zinging set of polyrhythmic improvisations that are at the heart of jazz.

BEST TV NEWS ANCHOR

Laurie Jennings

WSVN-TV (Channel 7)

Was that a wink? Is she flirting with me? Man, she seems happy tonight. Maybe she's tipsy. No, I think she's just flirting with me. Viewers of WSVN's nightly newscasts can be excused for wondering if Laurie Jennings is communicating directly with them via the tube. When she began at Channel 7 in February 1998, she was a mechanically rigid human automaton improbably paired with blowhard Rick Sanchez. After the voluble Sanchez split for MSNBC, Jennings began a subtle but noticeable transformation, from straightlaced news reader to emotive broadcaster with personality. Those saucy little winks. The lead-in comments spiced with attitude. A relaxed posture that hinted at seduction. The change has been a bit unsettling, but ultimately it's just what we want and expect in our love-hate relationship with Seven News, the big show.

BEST INDIE NIGHT

PopLife

Saturday nights at Piccadilly Garden

Oh, happy dilemma. More than one indie night to choose from. More than two! More than three! This past year has been a great one for the local indie pop scene, with long-brewing enthusiasm finally coming to a boil. But savvy disc-curating sets PopLife above the rest, mixing deep, dark retro with the most daring volleys at the vanguard of new sound. And the setting at Piccadilly Garden doesn't hurt either. The dark wood and lugubrious booths indoors serve as the perfect backdrop for scary cool new music spun by Aramis Lorie and Ray Milian, while the white-walled hip-hop room -- more like a hip-hop booth -- makes it feel like you're dancing inside a beat box with DJ Le Spam. And the outdoor patio allows new live bands and their fans to breathe under the watchful eyes of door personalities Paola Milian and Barbara Basti. Ah, PopLife. That's the good life.

BEST TV NEWS REPORTER

Benno Schmidt

NBC 6 (WTVJ-TV)

If there were a category for best hair on television, Schmidt would win hands down. That pompadour of his rises at least two feet above his head. Even more impressive is his voice: deep, serious, pontifical. Schmidt could make a routine Krome Avenue car crash sound as important as the fall of the Soviet Union. In fact that's exactly what he's done for NBC 6 on numerous occasions. In fact Schmidt comes across as so authoritative he may even startle himself. As he told one of our colleagues: "Can you believe I'm actually reading the news and that people actually believe what I'm saying?" Sure, man. Absolutely. The potent combination of voice and hair is enough for us to predict big things for this swarthy Wesleyan grad. We're talking national news. Stone Phillips, watch your back.

BEST LITTLE MAGAZINE FOR LITTLE MINDS

Ego Trip

The table of contents in this four-by-five-and-a-half-inch monthly magazine tells the story. Bartender of the month. DJ of the month. Artist, chef, and model of the month. Concierge of the month. Doorman of the month. Bulwarks of our community. The front line in our noble struggle for the dollars of the rich and often not famous. In their own words. How does Stacey, an Aquarius who works the door at a strip club for women, keep himself entertained? "My job at La Bare pretty much does that," he explains. Each issue the "What's your ego trip?" page, in which local cognoscenti answer that bold question, presents yet another window on our bodies, ourselves, our naked souls. "A full glass of Bacardi 8 with a full breasted Latina," responds an assistant marketing manager for Bacardi. "Fashion consulting," replies a fashion consultant. "Cutting hair," reveals a haircutter. But Ego Trip cuts even deeper with its regular "Fifteen minutes of fame" interview. Look out, Michael Putney. Here comes the prince of South Florida reporting, the journalist still known as Buster, who recently confronted Miami Beach Mayor David Dermer in a historic Q&A. Buster: "During a commission meeting you said chances are there're just as many people doing illegal drugs at the Mix as there are at the Delano." Dermer: "There are some [clubs] that were bad and there were some that were good. I think Pump was actually one that had a pretty good record.... Since the nightlife industry is so important to the city, we want to make sure it's done properly." Ego Trip could be considered an authority on that topic, thanks to experts such as millionaire former club owner Shawn Lewis, who told New Times he bought the magazine in late 2000. Lewis left the South Beach club industry in early 2001 after a nasty legal dispute with former business partners. But such woes are nothing a cheerful disposition and a keen astrological awareness can't cure. "Keep smiling," advises publisher Buzzy Sklar, "because you never know when you might end up in Ego Trip magazine."

BEST LOCAL LATIN BAND

Manolin

You left/and since you left, Castro lost/Miami, no/we hope you'll stay/(Making beautiful salsa/Showing us how it's done)/You left/and since you left CANF is lost/what does it mean?/we hope you'll stay/And now you are the king/of the Hialeah festival in the spring/And now you are the king/of the Hialeah festival in the spring/You've got to be/on top of the ball/on top of the ball/You've got to be/on top of the ball/on top of the ball

BEST LATIN ROCK BAND

Volumen Cero

There isn't much competition for this category in a majority Latin county, but that's not Volumen Cero's fault. It's been doing all it can to give us a good name. These hard-working boys, with their emo-gothy-hard-rock-en-español (except-often-in-English) sound, have been playing seriously, recording seriously, touring seriously, showing up on time seriously enough to warrant them some serious national attention. Maybe with the imminent release of their second CD it'll happen. In the meantime singer and bassist Luis Tamblay, drummer Fernando Sanchez, and guitarists Marthin Chan and Cristian Escuti have earned our respect. Come on, Miami, show yours.

BEST LOCAL ZINE

OpenZine

According to OpenZine editors Humby and Kiki Valdes, this is an "urban subculture magazine." Did you know Destro is back? Bet you didn't even know Destro had left. (That's the name of a straight-edge rock band.) You'd be up on it had you been reading this zine. Just like you'd be privy to what's going on in the head of Kendall's own DJ EFN. "Yo, sometimes I'm like turn off that rock shit," he admitted in one OpenZine interview. "I can't even listen to salsa. My mind is strictly on hip-hop. As much as I love other types of music, I do have my periods where I only want hip-hop." Sons of Cuban immigrants who settled in New Jersey, the Miami-based Valdes brothers started their zine as a photocopied handout in the early Nineties. Humby, a 26-year-old graphic designer, first devoted it to punk/hardcore. Kiki, a 22-year-old painter, later inspired him to include hip-hop, "but with a punk attitude," the kid bro insists. It now is a glossy publication with some color pages (along with the Web presence). A news section keeps graffitiheads, art freaks, and all homies informed of important developments from MIA to NYC. Did you know, for example, that a New Jersey high-school teacher shut down students painting a mural of dead rappers Eazy-E, Tupac Shakur, B.I.G., and Big Pun? One memorable 64-page edition in 1998 included a spread on graffiti art in Miami and, as the editors promoted it, "a funny story about the Cuban Mafia." Three bucks an issue. Order or subscribe online.

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